Here it is at 2:44am and I'm sitting here waiting for the phone to ring. I moved to California, four years ago and for the first time, I find myself sitting by the phone. Waiting for a phone call. Right now, I dont care who it comes from, I just want to wake her up and let her know that everything is okay. Five years ago, I met a woman, who I like to call the other. We broke up two years ago, after three years and her moving with me to California, here we are five years later. I wouldn't call her a friend, but I did take responsibility for her life and I don't regret that decision.
When we started dating, her family asked me to look after her, to ensure that SHE was happy and safe and I took that to heart. Her entire family is Japanese and all she has, in America, is me. Hell, who am I kidding, all I have is her. Pressure, I know. I took that responsibility upon myself. And here I am. Five years later. Single, but not so much. Lonely, but not so much. Wanting more? She counts on me and I count on her. It's difficult to explain, but here I am.
Tonight, I went out for drinks with a friend. Tonight, we had drinks and I brought her dinner home to her. Tonight, I went out and sang songs in a bar and drank a great deal. Tonight, I got home and turned on the TV and heard about an earthquake in Japan.
The first thing that came to my mind was to see if SHE was okay. SHE was asleep. I shook her awake and asked if SHE had heard from her family. SHE stumbled from our bed and, rubbing her eyes, asked me if I wanted to move cars. My response, "Have you heard from your Mother?" SHE rubbed her eyes and asked me again, "Do you want to move cars?" I was stunned, but that was typical of her responses. Hell, I can't understand half of what she says to me. What was I thinking about? If I was going to live up to her families expectations, now was the time.
"Have you heard from your mother?"
That's when I pulled her into our living room and pointed at the screen. SHE rubbed her eyes and looked from me to the cat and finally to the TV. For two minutes, SHE just watched and then SHE grabbed her phone to call her mother. And then, she tried to call her brother. And then, she tried her mother again. Hoping that her father would answer the phone.
I've talked to my family in Michigan and still we wait to hear from her family in Japan. SHE has talked to my grandmother. SHE has talked to my mother. SHE has talked to me. What SHE needs is to talk to her mother. What SHE needs is to talk to her father. What SHE needs is to talk to her brother. SHE needs to know that her family is okay. SHE needs to know that her family is alive. That her nephews are okay. That she didn't come to America, only to have her family suffer.
So, I put her to bed and said "I will sit by the phone." And here I am, sitting by the phone. Waiting. Hoping. Praying. That it will ring. So I can wake her up and let her know that her family is okay.