Jessica Simpson?
Ben Stiller?
Scarlett Johansson?
Papa Roach?
Kevin Costner?
Bradley Cooper?
Anyone else listed on the USO website as entertainers in support of the military and - one would think by extension - military families?
Hello...?
Angelajean, who started the group "Military Community Members of Daily Kos," wrote in a March 5 Diary,
President and Mrs. Obama are finding ways to highlight the needs of military families. But it is taking an incredibly long time and, honestly, very little has really changed for the average military family. Our biggest stumbling block is YOU, especially if you are a civilian with zero military connections.
Obviously, she doesn't mean offense toward you, YOU. What I think she means (and I hope she'll correct me if I'm wrong) is that unless there's a tragedy, military families aren't sexy enough for people to get excited about or interested in. It means that unless big blockbuster movies are made about the military family experience, people won't be compelled on their own to learn more about it. (Although, I have to admit I'd prefer an indie film to any big blockbuster...indies just seem to do a better job at highlighting the powerful subtleties of a real-life experience.)
The "experience" I'm referring to isn't the casket rolling off the carrier or the tragic loss a family experiences when a traumatic brain injury has changed a soldier from who they once were to someone completely different - the only stories you're likely to hear about (that, or a teary homecoming). Rather, I'm talking about the things you might call "little" because you know so little about them. Like what it's like to go home after you say goodbye, close the door behind you, and know you won't see the person you love for six months (if they get R&R by then) to a year, and that the months to a year will be filled with daymares about what could happen. What it's like to hope with everything you are, every breath, every ounce of energy, that your "goodbye" wasn't the last time you'll ever see that person.
An anonymous soldier interviewed at "Like it for TIME" said the following about the difference between his war experience and the experience of the woman he loved:
I believe the deployment was tougher for her than for me just because I knew what I was doing every day and I knew my relative safety or danger levels. For her she had no idea what I was doing day to day and if it was a day of dangerous combat flying or just a lazy day in the tent.
YOU are the stumbling block to generating more interest in, attention to, and understanding of the military family experience over the last decade of deployments (and the years to come) because YOU are the 99% of the population not paying attention and not spreading the word. You've been great about expressing an interest in the service members, themselves. But you've had help with that. For as long as I can remember (I was born in '74), there have been war movies. That is, war movies about soldiers. There have been war books. That is, war books about soldiers.
What do you know about military families/loved ones and their role in every single war since the beginning of war?
Well, next to nothing.
My guess: comparisons are being made. "If you're not the one at war, you really don't have much of a 'war' story, now, do you?"
Don't we. (And by "we," I don't mean me. My experience is nothing compared to that of other military families, and because no one actually wants any kind of personal recognition, the emphasis is on greater awareness of the experience of military families, in general.)
Learn more. Meet real military families. We're not yellow ribbons, we're not holders of cookie platters, we're not people wrapped in flags (no allusion to the Sinclair Lewis quote, there), we're not the picture of stoicism, we're not Stepford people, we're not automatic supporters of any one administration, and we're also not ideal characters for Lifetime movies.
Check out this pictorial timelineat LIFE.com of military families through the ages. (Created by Army Wife Network's Starlett Henderson.) Not too many, so it won't take too much of your time. But look through them. They range from 1917 to the present, and they're fascinating. Revealing.
Read some honest and revealing interviews with military spouses and children at "Like it for TIME." (While you're there, send your letter to TIME Magazine.)
All we need, really, is ONE LOUD VOICE to get the ball rolling, to tell people to be interested. Surely there is ONE LOUD VOICE - make that one FAMOUS voice (as much as it pains me to have to admit that such a thing is necessary...it is what it is) - willing to shed light on this experience.
Surely there's one.
If it's you, I hope you don't disregard this opportunity. I hope you lend your voice and direct some attention the military family way. After all, it's free. And for you, probably effortless.