I'm sorry if this offends you, but you need to hear it.
Hey you, let's talk. You need to stop. It's hurting us. You, that speculates on oil. You're really gonna try and make money off oil futures? I don't know if you're aware of this, but when you do that I pay more. And I don't really want to pay more so that you can make money gambling.
I know you don't have a minimum wage job, but imagine for a second you do. It's payday, your boss has been in your ear all day long and finally it's quitting time. You collect your big stacks of seven dollars and twenty five cents, and now you have to fill up your tank. To get home you not only have to pay tribute to sea turtle slashing mega corps, autocrats without the best intentions but you're also handing the proceeds of your labor to some asshole that does nothing but take a percentage?
Hey you, let's talk some more. You need to stop. You, that speculates on food. You're really gonna try and make money off food futures? I don't know if you're aware of this, but when you do that I pay more. And I don't really want to pay more so you can make money gambling. I really can't even understand how you live with yourself. There's people out there who grow food, there's people out there who eat food. Your genius brain realizes people need to eat and with a couple of clicks from your finger you weasel in. You have nothing to do with growing, harvesting, delivering, preparing or selling the food. But there you are anyway, taking a cut.
Let's go about this like adults. You have a speculation problem. It's affected my life in a number of ways. I don't want to work all day just to come home to feed your habit. I'm going to try my best not to enable you any further, but it sure would be a whole lot easier if you just admitted you have a problem. And then took steps to fix that problem. I know you probably can't quit altogether right away, but don't let that stop you from slowing down. The next time you see something that poor people need, fight the urge of thinking to yourself "cha ching! I know they really need that stuff, they'd pay me damn near anything for it." If this urge overwhelms you, try moderation. Buy just a little bit of futures to get you through the day. But please try to focus on the first part of this sentence; they really need that stuff. Yes I know, they'd pay anything for it, that's not the point. They really need that stuff.
Hey you, let's talk. You need to stop. It's hurting us. You, that wears the tea bags on your hat and parades around sloganeering for whatever it is that the monied interests need done. You're really going to scream all day about government taxes but say nothing about this Wall Street tax? Federal taxes have been going down, maybe it's time to focus your energy on the places where you're having to pay more than you used to. $5 for a loaf of bread, $4 for a gallon of gas, yet you're losing your heads over the costs of funding NPR, which probably costs you a fraction of a penny a week? Drill more? Drill now? I don't think you understand how this thing works. It takes years to get a drilling operation off the ground and there's not enough oil down there to make a difference anyway. Beyond that the price is set by financial speculation, supply and demand is only one factor. Drill here and now? But what about the.. oh fuck you nevermind. Moving on..
Hey you, let's talk. You need to stop. It's hurting us. You, that can pinpoint every Obama flaw since he took office but get the vapors when someone talks about what you did. What did you do the last two years? A primary fight in Arkansas, Dem against Dem? How'd that go? Well if you're that committed to Arkansas you must have rained down the donations and other election efforts on Illinois, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Wisconsin. No? Oopsy. Was that on Obama too? Of course it was. He gave up on the public option, if he had just __ then both the Nelsons, Lincoln, Landrieu, Bayh, Begich, Tester, Warner, Webb, Lieberman, Byrd, Pryor, and for that matter McCaskill, Feinstein and Carper would have happily voted for it. That's your biggest accomplishment of late, convincing the ill informed that Obama had the public option in his hands and fumbled it. Remember what I said earlier about poor people needing something and willing to pay any cost? That's how healthcare is for all of us, and this President took a big step forward to do something about that equation. Health insurance companies were middlemaning as much of the healthcare dollar as they could. Obama changed that as best he could.
Hey you, let's talk. You need to stop. It's hurting us. You, that can describe in elegant fashion the specific government you wish for, but claim to not be able to tell two imperfect governments apart. In liberty land, everyone is free and the government's largesse can only be seen through the finest of microscopes. But elsewhere everything is the same; Obama's Bush, Libya is Iraq. When I think of you I imagine you freezing to death in your apartment. You know you want it to be 82 degrees, but can't afford it. So, screw it.. 60 degrees is 40 degrees is -20. None of it is shorts weather. You won't take part in electing the lesser of two evil temperatures. Hurting us might be a little strong, but it's certainly annoying. I don't want to know any more about the federalist papers I want to know what you'll do in your lifetime to affect anything?
And to the rest of you, you're on notice. I have to go get some expensive food or I'd open letter each and every last one of you.
Crossposted to The Progressive Electorate
UPDATE: I'm adding an image so this can be shared on facebook without a low res picture of my face