A kossack logs in to a diary.
kossack: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The diarist does not respond)
kossack: 'Ello, Miss?
diarist: What do you mean "Miss"?
kossack: I'm sorry, I guessed wrong from your username. I wish to make a complaint!
diarist: I have to go make lunch.
kossack: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this diary what you posted not half an hour ago on this very website.
diarist: Oh yes, the, uh, undeniable Obama progressivism...What's, uh...What's wrong with it?
kossack: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. Lies, that's what's wrong with it!
diarist: No, no, it's uh...it's proof.
kossack: Look, matey, I know lies when I read them, and I'm reading them right now.
diarist: No, no, it's not lies, it's, it's proof. Remarkable list, Politifact made, idn'it, ay? Huge, long list!
kossack: The length don't enter into it. It's lies.
diarist: Nononono, no, no! It's proof!
--- and so on ---
After reading the back and forth on a current diary that has brought out strong opinions on the President's record, I was struck by the idea that when it comes to Obama, this site has devolved into an elaborate dead parrot sketch.
The most loyal progressives are unshakable in their belief that Obama is still the man they voted for. They refuse to consider that he may have changed. They are doing the mental equivalent of nailing a dead parrot to a perch and justifying its stiffness.
The most angry progressives are equally sure in their belief that Obama pulled a fast one. They berate Obama and the loyalists as if it was possible to somehow take their vote back, just as John Cleese pounds the parrot's head on the counter to prove it isn't alive.
I'll let the original sketch take it from there:
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!
(pause)
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.
Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: I got a slug.
(pause)
Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
And the sketch ends like many such - ahem - discussions do on this site:
Mr. Praline: Well.
(pause)
Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
We may not all be happy with things Obama has done. I sure as hell am not. But he is the president and will be our candidate in two years. Does it make any sense to continue to argue Obama's record on these pages? Do these arguments serve as anything more than laugh lines for republicans trolling the site? Can we stop with the dead parrot sketch?