I was so overcome with emotion as I watched my granddaughter perform in a play last night that I missed much of the dialogue. I mean, who is that stunning young woman with incredibly long legs, curly dark hair straightened as is the fashion, mascared lashes framing electric blue eyes playing the part of a wife and mother who's about to leave her husband. My God, she's only 14 and just yesterday I was sneaking jelly beans to her as we cuddled and read her favorite books together. Just yesterday I was treating her to Teddy Bears and ice cream and making sure she was safely strapped into the back seat.
And then, later, I looked across the restaurant table at another woman, her mother, my lovely daughter, sipping tequila from a large salt encrusted glass, and a second wave of emotion took over. Wasn't it just yesterday that I watched her play the part of Mary in her kindergarden Christmas play, watched her ballet and piano recitals, held my breath as she rode ponies and horses over fences. Wasn't it just yesterday that she graduated high school, college, graduate school? Wasn't it just yesterday that I waited worridly for her voice on the phone saying she was safe in her travels across the country and across the world? My god, she's 47 and I still want to hold her hand crossing the street. Of course, now, it would probably be to steady me.
So,in a few months, the grandchild will leave the protected world of her small Quaker school and enter a 2,000 student high school. It may not scare her but it scares me. Will she someday soon ask her mother as my daughter once asked me: "why didn't you tell me what the world was really like". I'll never forget that. I can still hear her voice on the phone from Philadelphia, at 20, practically screaming it at me. There she was in the "real world", for the first time in her life and what she saw on the streets shook her and, I believe, sent her on a jouney that led to a life of service to others. For, you see, she became a teacher, a teacher who goes above and beyond the job description to enrich the lives of her students who come from some of the most poor, most neglected segments of our society.
Now I wonder in what direction the real world will take the granddaughter. Bright and beautiful, well mannered, a good student, creative and questioning, who knows? Guess it's time for Grandma to exit stage left, stand quietly in the wings, and trust the "yesterdays" laid a good foundation for her future.