It's time for another Military Brats open thread, brought to you by the "Military Community Members of Daily Kos" group. Please join our discussion if you are or were a military brat (defined loosely as a child of an active duty military member who grew up in or around the military culture), or raised a military brat, or know one.
It's an open thread, so anything related to the topic of military brats is welcome, but to get things started, I'll pose a few questions and give my answers below the fold:
How do you feel about the United States military today? Was your experience as a military dependent influential in deciding whether or not you would join the military?
My father was an active duty Marine for twenty years, most of it during the Vietnam era. He spent part of one overseas tour in Vietnam. He was in administration, so he wasn't involved in direct combat. It was a strange sort of war, from what I remember on the news and from what I've read since. He came back, like many Marines, with a lot of problems adjusting, most of which continued well after he retired from the Marine Corps when I was 12.
When I was 14, I sent a magazine postcard to the Marine Corps indicating I was interested in joining. They sent back a poster and a nice note saying call us when you're a little older. I was somewhat insulted by their response.
By the time I reached age 18, my opinion of the military had completely changed. I was more aware in general of the world around me, and my family had finally started to heal. That healing let me express some anger for the first time about what we'd been through. I had come to resent (a little too intensely) what I saw as the government's abandonment of my family when my father was overseas, and of him when he came back. When military recruiters called my house during my senior year, I was a very firm "No." What I was thinking was "Hell, no! Not after what my family went through."
I am not a veteran. I have never served in the military. I have a significantly less hostile attitude about it than I did at 18, however. I made a choice not to serve, and I see the fact that I had a choice as a privilege. I'm very grateful for that.
I made the mistake once of telling a Vietnam vet who asked if I ever served that growing up on a military base was enough for me. I awkwardly implied that somehow my experience as a "brat" equated with his experience as a soldier fighting in Vietnam. It was a stupid thing to imply, and I regret it to this day even though he probably didn't give it a second thought.
I am at the point now where if one of my children said they wanted to look into joining the military, I would support them 100% and be very proud of their service if they enlisted, but I would also tell them not to believe one word the recruiters were telling them. "Talk to Grandpa and your uncles," I would say. "They'll tell you what it's really like. It's not what you think"