We are interrupting this WPPR(Pootie Picture Radio) broadcast with a special report! We will take you directly to Edward R. Purrow in Bay City, Michigan.
At 9AM this morning Pooties gathered on street corners in every city encouraging a National Nip Sniffing Day. The FBI is reporting that it appears to be a coordinated effort happening all across the country. *
*An eyewitness sent this picture to WPPR from outside Wall Street.
By 9:15, this was the scene all over the country.
Throughout the day, there have been thousands of reports of 'pootie on pootie' violence. No city is being spared.
The FBI and the DEA have conducted hundreds of raids throughout the day.
Police want everyone to be aware of the warning signs of nip sniffing. If you see any of these symptoms, contact your local authorities immediately.
1. Sleeping all day
2. Sitting and staring off into space.
3. Extreme energy
4. Hunger and strange cravings
This reporter remembers the last time National Nip Sniffing Day was celebrated. It was 1968 and it took a decade for the country to recover.
If history holds true, tomorrow will be a sad day in America.
This has been Edward R. Purrow reporting for WPPR, Pootie Picture Radio, a Kos Watch Radio Network.
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