Stop me if you have heard this one.
I walk into a fast food place. Doesn't matter which one.
I'm a little thirsty, but being of a certain age have to be conscious of the fact that anything more than a couple of ounces of soda will require multiple trips to the bathroom over the next couple of hours (just another fun thing for all you youngsters to look forward to).
So, I come up to the counter, and ask for small Diet Coke.
Is Diet Pepsi okay? comes the reply.
Well, no, not really. I'd really prefer Diet Coke.
We only have Pepsi.
I guess it doesn't matter then what I want, does it? I'll take a small Diet Pepsi.
We don't have a small.
I greet this with a moment of confused silence. Is this tied to the whole Pepsi-Coke thing? What sizes do you have, I inquire.
We have medium, large, and extra-large.
So, the smallest is medium?
Yes.
Medium, as in, between large and small? In the middle?
I know what medium means.
I don't think you do.
We are spitting in your Diet Pepsi.
I offer this story, and the forward this
In relevant part (sorry, don't know how to do the fancy graphics):
"The Obama administration on Wednesday unveiled a new warning system to alert Americans about specific terrorism threats, formally pushing the much-ridiculed color-coded warnings into the trash bin. The new alerts will warn of either an "imminent threat" or an "elevated threat" with a summary of the potential threat as well as an expiration date."
I walk into a government office. Doesn't matter which one. I am only there to use the bathroom anyway, need to pee.
I am going through security. The man at the booth informs me that the terrorism threat today is at "elevated".
My goodness, I say. What is going on?
Nothing, he says. That is the lowest level.
I greet this with a moment of confused silence. Elevated is the lowest level? I inquire.
Yes
Elevated? As in higher than? Higher than what?
I know what elevated is.
I don't think that you do.
He spits in my Diet Pepsi.