We interrupt this regularly scheduled diary to bring you a special report. We will join Edward R. Purrow in Bay City, Michigan.
For the last several days there have been reports of Basement Cat sightings from all around the world. Rumors have been flying all week. Would he or wouldn't he? The world has been waiting with baited breath to see what would happen on this Rapture Afternoon.
Earlier this morning Basement Cat sent me an email, offering me an exclusive interview. In one minute Basement Cat will be joining us to give us his plans.
ERP: Welcome to WPPR, Basement Cat! Thanks for joining us today.
BC: Thanks Edward. It's a pleasure to be with all of you today.
ERP: We know that you have been planning for this day for.....millennia. Would you care to clue us in to today's happenings?
BC: Harold Camping has gotten the word out, but he was much more cryptic then I would have wished. It's all going to be quite simple. At 6PM I'm going to throw a concert. The tickets are free and the location will be in your livingroom on your television. There is nothing special anyone has to do but watch TV. All the TV stations will show the concert. It has all been.... arranged. In fact, I'll be giving WPPR a little preview this afternoon.
ERP: Speaking for the world, I can hardly wait! Wait, are you telling me all the fuss this week has been a concert promotion?
BC: Well, in part. After the concert there will be some minor changes.
ERP: Are you prepared to speak about those changes now?
BC: Just a few minor changes. Pooties changing places with hoomins. Pooties taking over the world. Also, all hoomin will begin speaking in LOLSPEAK, no matter their language. Nothing much different. You will hardly notice. I have to leave you now Edward. It's time to begin the pre-show. I will look forward to working with you MUCH more, Edward.
There we have it. Straight from Basement Cat's mouth. There will be a concert tonight with the pooties, and we WILL all wake up tomorrow. One thing I must say. Basement Cat was much smaller then I expected. I'm hearing the first notes being played. We are now going to break away to Basement Cat and The Minions.
The Zombies will start us out today.
Kansas
The Doors
Pink Floyd
Don McLean
Lynyrd Skynyrd
Eagles
Bon Jovi
AC/DC
Queen
Aerosmith