No, I don't want to teach in Florida. And this is why.
"Stop repeating yourself. We know you have earned tenure but we just have to let you go. See, here in Florida we really need to give corporations a tax break. Don't look at me like that, ever heard of trickle down economics? Wait.. what are you.. Oh god you're peeing!"
~
"Here, we appreciate the worth of smaller government - which, turns out to be $2.65. That's the price of our lunches that consist solely of Starburst and barbeque chips. Totally worth it. Plus we get a monster sponsorship from Lays!"
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"You may be qualified but sorry, there is no room for you here. And I mean that literally; we are hiring ex-horse jockeys so we can squeeze more children into classrooms. If you're not built like a malnourished 7-year old, you can't teach one."
~
"So what did you do in class today?"
"We got to be painted like animals."
"Oh, and what kind of animal did you choose?"
"A feral door knob. And I can't feel my face."
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"We use lead paint on our playgrounds to prove we don't need big government to run our elementary school. If a child complains that their hands are tingling send them to the Principal for being un-American."
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"small government" - because the first thing that gets cut is education.
~ Leaflet