I tell my wife I love her no less than a dozen times a day, everyday.
When I wake up, before I go to sleep, if I go run an errand, when I go downstairs to mix it up with "you people", depending on how many text messages we send back and forth during the day it could easily surpass two dozen.
When we got back together for the last time, she would occasionally verbally express her concern that my saying it so many times during the day, would cause our commonly used phrase to lose it's meaning.
I said "LOGIC FAIL!!!!"(only I didn't say it like that)
I said "Baby, what if I leave the crib without telling you iluvu and get hit by a malfuckin' truck or some shit like that?" After being scolded for mentioning a potential scenario for my upcoming trip to heaven, she had a better understanding of why I do it and it's meaning has grown more powerful with each passing day.
Now I'm not the perfect husband by any stretch of the imagination. I'm a little lazy yet I work more than I should, I play video games(only after she goes to bed, on that 360 kid, xbox is that truth, all other platforms can get tha bozack, can I get a witness), I like to spend a lot of time by myself as I am an only child, I don't talk much, not really in touch with my emotions, and I do believe that our household operates more smoothly with me serving in the patriarch role. She seems to be okay with it so long as I don't get crazy, which I don't.
Around the end of 2006 my wife and I got back together and I made several agreements with her in this stage of our relationship. The first one being that we needed one or two years to be together as a legit couple and if we made it that long I was going to ask for her hand in marriage. The second one being that if I ever asked her to trust me that she was to run the other way, fast, and she was never to look back. I don't believe trust is something that one should ask for. To me you either earn it or you don't and due to the lengthy and complicated history we shared with each other, I thought this method was the best way to go. This is a woman I met at the age of 19 and from my perspective that is a piss poor age for young men to meet their future wives in most cases. I knew I was going to marry her when I met her but what I didn't know is how long it was going to take me to stop fighting myself. By the time we got back together it had been 11 years...
Jump ahead two years later it was literally a month or two into our second year and I was ready, I spent the most nerve racking 45 minutes of my life at her parents house where I informed her parents of my plan to ask her to marry me. Advice to you guys that have to approach her/his parents first, don't do it during fathers favorite sporting event.
In late August of 2010 I married my wife in front of half the people we anticipated showing up. It was located at a place called the sunken garden at the Como conservatory in Saint Paul. It was hotter than shit but it was quick, it's a fucking greenhouse and for some reason we didn't put that together but oh well.
Although I drove to the ceremony with my wife and we spend the whole day hanging out after a raucous pre-wedding party at our house the night before, I had no idea how powerful "iluvu" had become.
Our wedding ceremony could not have lasted more than 25 minutes.
From the moment my wife and her father stepped through the doorway to enter the room I sobbed like a fucking baby. The whole ceremony, through the prayers, him talking, I don't even remember what he was saying. The first thing I remembered when I kind of snapped out of it was my looking at him kind of confused like "what is going on man?" and he said "It's okay your married now." and I practically fell on my wife wailing. The kind of crying people do when they've been away from someone for a long time, that kind of unconscious type of crying where you just can't help it.
I think it was then that my wife truly understood why I tell her I love her all the time to the point where it is ridiculous, which kind of brings me to a larger point.
Whenever I hear or read about infidelity in marriages it makes me rededicate myself to my own relationship with my wife. When I think about this guy and others like him going in front of the press, cryin' and shit about cheating and mistakes and shit like that, I'm like "fuck you man?" Don't get me wrong, cheating happens and it happens far more than we think and these men may not be bad men but for fuck sake JUST LEAVE.
Just leave man because it's not worth it, it's never the same after that. I've been cheated on before and stuck around, granted it was in high school but the gut wrenching nightmares/daymares don't go away ever. I think about the love and trust I have with my wife and the thought of her sharing that with another person after we took our vows would damage a lot of people for a long time. Why try to build up that trust again with a person with whom you promised to never violate that trust.
You're rebuilding your house on a broken foundation and that is risky business.
I have to say again, that I am not perfect or a perfect husband but this is one area that I don't mess around with. It is so easy to not cheat, it is so easy, it is the sneaking around and hiding and lying and trying to cover it up that is hard to do.
When I tell my wife "iluvu" that dozen times a day, it's not a game, it's not just me saying the words incase something happens, it's me reaffirming as often as I feel like it that I plan to spend the rest of my life with her and only her. I don't think that is a high standard.
Love your partners, don't cheat on them.
(I'm kind of an idiot, I had a picture from after the wedding of my brothers and I wanted to post to the diary. If one of you can help me out it would be much appreciated. I use an iMac.)