, but had the good taste and fear to not ask.
In light of the esteemed, and I still esteem him, congressman's indiscretion, I felt that a person of my generation should speak to some of you, my elders, as to this crazy thing called the internet. Some of you are perplexed by its intricacies, the whimsey of its denizens, and the outright bat-shit crazy that co-mingles along side the otherwise upstanding nature of histories greatest resource and communication technology.
Once again, as a service to those of you who don't want to bother reading the blithering blatherskite that is regurgitated by my keyboard onto the electrons in your screen, here's the summation.
http://www.youtube.com/...
Firstly, everything that goes on the internet does NOT last forever.*
Things do disappear, daily, just ask me about the ebay store I bought some stuff from. Gone, along with the money. This particular "rule" of the internet, however, has a really big * beside it. For those of you who are unaware, the asterisk is a marketing tool. Whenever someone says something in an ad and there is an asterisk beside it, the asterisk means "not really." In this case, the asterisk beside this "rule" should be taken to mean "except the stuff you don't want to last forever." Picture of you saving an orphan from a rabid fire breathing alien from the planet eat-a-baby-lon. After 3 years then it'll be gone from everywhere. Naked pics you took in college with your ex 30 years ago where you're holding a bong pointing to it and smiling? BOOM, shows up every time an employer Google checks your name.
Secondly, "the internet allows people to communicate across cultures, boundaries, and has the potential to open up a dialogue amongst all of humanity."
This particular "rule" is true, in the same way its true outside of the internet. We all reach out to befriend that stranger, learn something from people actually living thru the things we read, and try to comfort one another after going thru some horrible tragedy.
We also reach out to that stranger for a handjo behind the Walmart, tell someone they're a lying jackass with impunity, gloat about our supposed superiority in some aspect, and in general be the kind of person that, if they showed up to the party we were hosting, we'd pray they get their ass kicked if we didn't do it ourselves.
Thirdly, the internet is a place where we can learn. We can expand our minds and find tools to improve our character beyond what our resources might otherwise limit us too.
Sitting in front of our computers, we can learn physics, economics, chemstry, history, other languages, and in general share in the culture of places and peoples we'd otherwise not only never see, but never even know existed.
The flip side of course, involves rule 34. Those of you unfamiliar with it, rule 34 states "if it exists, there IS porn of it on the internet somewhere." If you don't believe me, use Google. Better yet, just go to 4chan. On second thought, don't do that, I'm not that cruel. You see, human's don't just want to improve in all the Star Trek ways, moving beyond war and poverty and pestilence. We also want to be able to indulge the Hyde living in all of us. While you may be learning french online, you're probably also at least curiously looking up what the big buzz on all this clown porn is about.
So, I hope you take away at least one thing from this little talk. The Internet, or "the net" as old people trying to be hip call it, is much like the real world. There are great treasures to be found to indulge our best and greatest aspirations and drives, but there's also lots of places to go for three-ways involving clowns.
I hope this helps those of you who seem confused by all the chaos, and utter insanity that this wondrous thirty year old "new" technology brings to the world around you.