In shocking new NewSpeak poll, 95% of Americans agree that the house is nothing but trouble, and has to be shut down.
This comes as a shock to at least four House Republicans. "I didn't see this coming at all, not by a mile!" a house Republican said of the poll results, on condition of anonymity.
President Obama made a speech praising the bipartisanship. "Washington has come together in this time of need, and declared that the House of Representatives is totally borked."
Speaker Boehner told a group of reporters "I just can't make any of these jerks happy" and wandered off towards the nearest bottle of Ethanol.
Grover Norquist is quoted as saying "This has been all part of the master plan muahahahaha."
Even Bernard Pooley, the fellow who turns off the lights of the House chamber has a strong opinion on the subject: "They were just wasting electricty."