This happened thirty years ago. I still think about it, especially these days. I was driving with a co-worker on an errand to purchase office supplies. We were on a busy street. The office supply store required a left hand turn across traffic. I made a quick turn into the lot and discovered it was a single lane, one way lot. It appeared to be full so the only option was to make the circuit in order to drive back out. That's when the incident happened.
I'd driven maybe fifteen feet when up ahead a pickup was backing towards me. I figured he hadn't seen me so I beeped my horn. It was a one way and there was nowhere for me to go. Then the driver turned to look at me and had a big smile on his face and he was not stopping and he was not slowing down. I looked over at my co-worker and she was stunned, silent. He kept coming steadily so I leaned on my horn. He kept coming and smiling. When he was maybe two feet away, and obviously not stopping I put it into reverse. He sped up and essentially pushed me out into oncoming traffic. Other cars honked. He drove on.
Over the years I've wondered what I should have, could have done differently. It sure looked like he was willing to hit me with the high bumper of his pickup. I was driving a subcompact, making very little money and was motivated to protect what I had. But I have thought maybe I should have stopped, gotten out, made a stand. But then I think, what would that have accomplished? I'd never been in a fight. I didn't want my car damaged. I didn't want my co-worker injured. I think I did the reasonable thing in the face of an unreasonable circumstance.
I still think of that incident as somehow having been a failure for me. I fantasize about solutions that might have convinced the other guy of the error of his actions. I imagine myself standing and fighting and being willing to incur whatever sacrifice was necessary. But all of those notions simply validate the idea that I was wrong in what I did and that it was incumbent upon me to find some reasonable way to deal with his unreasonable actions. I remain confused.