I've spent a great deal of time sifting through diaries the last week or so, and there's a type of dickish behavior that pisses people off, and rightfully so -- the need for some to enter other peoples' diaries simply to be dicks.
This isn't a new problem, of course, but it certainly has contributed to the degradation of discourse around here. It's classic dick behavior. So here's a new guideline:
The "guest in someone's house" rule
Walking into someone's diary is like walking into someone's home. You are a guest. Act accordingly. That doesn't mean you can't disagree. It just means you have to be civil and courteous and limit your arguments to substance.
That level of courtesy must be even higher in group diaries. If people want to hang out and talk about X, and you are anti-X, then either be on your bestest of best behavior or just stay away. You are always free to write your own response diary or start your own anti-X group.
So, my tolerance for dickishness will be least in group diaries, followed by personal diaries, followed by your own diaries.
Bottom line: If you don't like someone, ignore or argue PURELY on the facts. If you refuse to heed and seek out your foes to shit all over their diaries, I will zap you. You don't need to go after the same people every day to remind them that yes, you still don't like them.
Free for all zone
Now in the flip side -- if you write your diary promoting X, and an anti-x person offers a clean rebuttal, based on facts and without personal attacks or other dickishness -- don't be a dick in response. If you drag the discussion down in your diary, don't come crying to me. Same goes for your allies. If an ally (defined as someone who supports your point of view) goes off the deep end, then it's the responsibility of the diarist or other allies to make clear that such behavior is not tolerated. Otherwise...
At that point, I will consider that diary/thread to be a free-for-all. I will ignore comments in such threads except for direct calls to violence, racist/sexist/bigoted language, copyright violations, or other deeply offensive material. Any other kind of dickish behavior will be fair game.
So diarists get to choose -- their diaries can either be zones of civility, or they can be mosh pits.
Sound fair?
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A sampling of additional dickish behavior:
Going back to hidden comments and pulling stuff out that's six months old. People are allowed to have an off-day without having it rubbed in their face in perpetuity.
Stalking (related to this main subject of this diary).
Hijacking other people's diaries by dragging in meta fights from outside. I will actually have particularly low tolerance for meta hijacks.
