Stephen Colbert expertly showed last night how incredibly stupid Michele Bachmann was being for attacking Rick Perry on making little girls take the HPV vaccine for cervical cancer.
MICHELE BACHMANN: I'm a mom, and I'm a mom of three children. And to have innocent little 12-year-old girls be forced to have a government injection through an executive order is just flat out wrong. ... I'm offended for all the little girls and the parents that didn't have a choice.
Bachmann, of course, always strongly pro-choice. As long as that choice is cervical cancer. Besides, we all know, folks, we all know what getting this vaccination is going to lead to.
9/13/2011:
CAROL COSTELLO: Some conservatives think that, by giving a young girl this vaccination, it encourages her to have pre-marital sex.
ELIZABETH COHEN, CNN MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT: I don't know. I mean, I have four daughters. And if I said to my daughter, "Look, you're going to get a shot. This is for, you know, to prevent you from getting sick for when you are sexually active." I mean, she's a smart girl. I really don't think that she would take that as me saying, "Sweetie, go ahead and have sex."
You are living in a dream world, you whore factory! (wild audience applause) Folks, I am telling you, the only thing keeping our kids from humping at the bus stop is fear of the big "C". You let the government mandate a vaccine that helps prevent one form of cervical cancer, and you might as well let the UN's jackbooted thugs hold down your little princess and inject her with pharmaceutical-grade slut juice!
Giving your girl this vaccine is admitting that one day in the future, she may have pre-marital or post-marital sex!
....
On one side, you have the full weight of the medical and scientific establishment, and on the other side, you have Michele Bachmann citing studies in the New England Journal of Some Lady I Just Met.
Well, I say if that's the case, I say we teach the controversy.
Video and transcript below the fold.
Nation, it's no secret. If you've been watching this show anytime, you know that I've been an early supporter of GOP frontrunner Rick Perry. So folks, I was caught off guard when his fellow Republicans turned on him in Monday's debate.
9/12/2011:
JON HUNTSMAN: Well, first of all, let me say, for Rick to say that you can't secure the border, I think is pretty much a treasonous comment.
RON PAUL: But I don't want to offend the Governor, because he might raise my taxes or something!
MITT ROMNEY: I think Governor Perry would agree with me that if you're dealt four aces, that doesn't make you necessarily a great poker player.
He's right. What makes you a great poker player is your ability to bluff. Like a Mormon trying to convince people that he has ever played poker. And folks, I was blindsided... blindsided when something Wolf Blitzer said actually informed me. Jim?
9/12/2011:
WOLF BLITZER: Governor Perry, as you well know, you signed an executive order requiring little girls, 11- and 12-year-old girls, to get a vaccine to deal with a sexually transmitted disease that could lead to cervical cancer.
....
MICHELE BACHMANN: I'm a mom, and I'm a mom of three children. And to have innocent little 12-year-old girls be forced to have a government injection through an executive order is just flat out wrong. ... I'm offended for all the little girls and the parents that didn't have a choice.
Bachmann, of course, always strongly pro-choice. As long as that choice is cervical cancer. Besides, we all know, folks, we all know what getting this vaccination is going to lead to.
9/13/2011:
CAROL COSTELLO: Some conservatives think that, by giving a young girl this vaccination, it encourages her to have pre-marital sex.
ELIZABETH COHEN, CNN MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT: I don't know. I mean, I have four daughters. And if I said to my daughter, "Look, you're going to get a shot. This is for, you know, to prevent you from getting sick for when you are sexually active." I mean, she's a smart girl. I really don't think that she would take that as me saying, "Sweetie, go ahead and have sex."
You are living in a dream world, you whore factory! (wild audience applause) Folks, I am telling you, the only thing keeping our kids from humping at the bus stop is fear of the big "C". You let the government mandate a vaccine that helps prevent one form of cervical cancer, and you might as well let the UN's jackbooted thugs hold down your little princess and inject her with pharmaceutical-grade slut juice!
Giving your girl this vaccine is admitting that one day in the future, she may have pre-marital or post-marital sex! And you're saying that's fine with you. Well, I will not say that to my children. Hell, I will not say that to my grandchildren. I will say, "I don't know how you got here. Ask your parents. I don't want to know."
And folks, after the debate, Michele Bachmann raised an even more disturbing issue with this vaccine.
MICHELE BACHMANN (9/12/2011): There's a woman who came up crying to me tonight, after the debate. She said her daughter was given that vaccine. She told me her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result of that vaccine. There are very dangerous consequences.
That is damning news for this vaccine. We should get a second opinion.
DR. NANCY SNYDERMAN (9/13/2011): The American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Academy of Family Physicians, and the CDC all weighed in today, disagreeing with Michele Bachmann's view.
OK, so what I'm hearing here is that there is a disagreement in the scientific community on this issue. On one side, you have the full weight of the medical and scientific establishment, and on the other side, you have Michele Bachmann citing studies in the New England Journal of Some Lady I Just Met.
Well, I say if that's the case, I say we teach the controversy. Should we be preventing cervical cancer or not? That will be a tough call for President Bachmann's first appointee, Surgeon General guy behind her at the Petco checkout line.
We'll be right back.
Stephen also covered Fox News's latest ginned up controversy, "Clipgate".
He talked about the Postal Service
going bankrupt and talked about it with former postal worker
Phil Rubio. Then his guest was
Michael Moore.
Meanwhile, Jon noted how Dick Cheney
turning into more machine than man has humanized him. He then covered the
upset loss in NY-09, Anthony Weiner's old seat.
And Jon's guest was rapper
Common. You know, the person Fox News invented a racist freakout over when Obama invited him to the White House to read poetry.