Video and transcript below the fold.
If you watched this week's CNN/Tea Party Amerigasm, you know that Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann scored some points in the debate on Republican frontrunner Governor Rick Perry, concerning his state-mandated HPV vaccine order.
MICHELE BACHMANN (9/12/2011): I'm a mom of three children, and to have innocent little 12-year-old girls be forced to have a government injection through an executive order is just flat out wrong. ... I'm offended for all the little girls and the parents that didn't have a choice. That's who I'm offended for.
Oooh, advantage Bachmann! And she will give that advantage back in 3... 2... go!
MICHELE BACHMANN (9/12/2011): There's a woman who came up crying to me tonight, after the debate. She said her daughter was given that vaccine. She told me her daughter suffered mental retardation as a result of that vaccine.
"And now I am repeating that assertion unchecked, assuming there is a body of evidence to back this up. I'm sure there is, right?" (Jon mouths "No.")
For more on the vaccine controversy, we're joined by Daily Show Senior Women's Issues Correspondent, Kristen Schaal! Thank you very much for joining us, very nice to see you.
JON STEWART: What is your take on this whole vaccine issue? What is the vaccine about?
KRISTEN SCHAAL: Well, frankly, I'm just excited people are talking about women's health. Anything to distract us from the terribly polarizing circumcision debate. By the way, I vote yes. Not crazy about turtlenecks. You? What do you think?
JON STEWART: (awkward pause) How does the vaccine work?
KRISTEN SCHAAL: Well, Jon, when a man loves a woman very much, he gives her a special close hug with his penis. It's called "fucking", that's the street term.
JON STEWART: Let's skip ahead after the hugging, the vaccine part.
KRISTEN SCHAAL: OK. When two people who love each other fuck, you can get an STD called the human papillomavirus. In women, HPV has been proven to cause cervical cancer. Fortunately, now there's a vaccine called Gardasil that prevents HPV. Which is good, because one in two sexually active people will get HPV in their lifetime. And I don't have it, so....
(stares at Jon)
Oh, don't worry, Jon. I said sexually active. (audience starts howling with laughter) You were scared there a minute! Ah, it's so cute.
JON STEWART: I was a little scared. You know, it seems ironic, Michele Bachmann came out against the vaccine for women, while Rick Perry, the man, was sort of standing for, I guess, women's health, fighting HPV.
KRISTEN SCHAAL: Well, it's not really that strange. In some ways, it's a regional issue. Minnesota doesn't have to worry about HPV as much, because they wear so many layers. Finding genitals is next to impossible! Take it from someone who waitressed at the St. Paul Hooters, OK?
But I'm willing to overlook Congresswoman Bachmann's regional bias, because she's the last female candidate in this race. It's why I printed up 6,000 Bachmann "From My Cold, Dead Vagina" bumper stickers.
JON STEWART: Is that your truck? Because you drive a truck with truck nuts on them?
KRISTEN SCHAAL: They're lady nuts, and I happen to like them.
JON STEWART: I understand. But isn't Bachmann saying the HPV vaccine causes mental retardation... experts have pretty well debunked it.
9/13/2011:
ANDERSON COOPER: That is by all accounts just flat out wrong.
DR. HOLLY PHILLIPS: It's not even something that has been suggested.
RUSH LIMBAUGH: There's no evidence that the vaccine causes mental retardation.
KRISTEN SCHAAL: What?? Was that....?
JON STEWART: No, no, no! Do not say his name.
KRISTEN SCHAAL: Aw man, there goes the market for my Michele Bachmann "I've got an eye on your vagina" condoms.
JON STEWART: That's creepy.
KRISTEN SCHAAL: They're her eyes.
JON STEWART: That's pretty creepy. [unintelligible], though they were facing the camera, so I'm not sure those were.
KRISTEN SCHAAL: Well Jon, now I'm torn. On one hand, Governor Perry's taking care of Texas vaginas, but he did it with a government mandate to force it on young girls. It's like he's trying to turn Texas into some kind of punanny state. Michele Bachmann, on the other hand, is arguing for a woman's right to choose, but only if that choice is getting cancer. The truth is, neither one is the strong pro-vag candidate women are looking for. But you know who I feel the worst for? The children.
JON STEWART: ... Because they'll be more likely to get cervical cancer?
KRISTEN SCHAAL: Well, that. But also because they'll never get to play with my Michele Bachmann Big Mouth Billie Vagina.
♫ "Take me to the clinic... take me to the clinic." ♫
JON STEWART: Did you just turn a Big Mouth Billy Bass into a... a singing vagina??
KRISTEN SCHAAL: Yes. And I have 10,000 of them in my garage.
JON STEWART: Kristen Schaal, everyone.
KRISTEN SCHAAL: If they all go off at once, it's a nightmare!
JON STEWART: I know, it would be very loud!
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He started to show what an asshole Rep.
"American Jobs Act" to put on his wet dream abolish corporate taxes bill, but was interrupted by a
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