Bill Maher had an excellent New Rule last night detailing how the GOP has gone insane, opposing anything liberals want, starting with the controversy over pink slime.
I think Republicans live in a world now where whatever a liberal says, no matter how sensible, is automatically evil, wrong, and needs to be fought with the fervor of a starving raccoon on crystal meth.
If Michele Bachmann... (grumbles) if Michele Bachmann.... If Michelle Obama (everyone cracks up) says it's good to eat vegetables and take a walk, then I'm going to sit in my garage with the car running and eat bacon grease out of a coffee can.
....
What is it with the pushing back on the formerly unpushbackable? Newt Gingrich attacking child labor laws. Ron Paul saying it's socialist for the government to help people after tornadoes? Arguing about paying our bills? And college! Santorum called Obama a "snob" for wanting kids to go to college, and Romney said he spent too much time at Harvard. Right, because what America needs is a President who dropped out of massage school. (audience applause)
And as it is Earth Day Sunday, let me add this to the list: the environment, another area that didn't use to be partisan. When Richard Nixon, yeah, created the EPA, both parties agreed that rivers shouldn't catch on fire, and the air shouldn't make pigeons cough. But then Al Gore embraced it, and now when the EPA wants to reduce the level of arsenic in the drinking water, you half expect to see Mitch McConnell making appearances with Archie the Arsenic Molecule.
Video and full transcript below the fold.
And finally, New Rule: The right and the left don't have to agree on everything, but Republicans have to give up on pink slime.
You know pink slime, the stuff from the slaughterhouse that's even too nasty to go into a hot dog? The "rejected fat sinew bloody effluvia and occasional bits of meat" that's then treated with ammonia, because it's otherwise full of bacteria, or as it's more commonly known, Donald Trump. (wild audience applause) Yes, pink slime. Because you can't spell ammonia without "mmmmmmmm"!
I bring up pink slime because it's typical of a strange pathology that we see on the right. When most Americans found out there was pink slime in their hamburgers, they were repulsed. And Republicans should have been too. But once they found out that liberals were against pink slime, then by God, they had to save it!
Which may be why this month, three Republican governors went to a pink slime factory and ate it on purpose.
(disgusted audience reaction)
Take that, book learnin'! See the governor smiling on the left? That's literally a shit-eating grin.
Now, you might say, but Bill, I'm sure those governors had a perfectly good reason to eat pink slime. Maybe they lost a bet with Mitt Romney. Or Rick Perry's not quite as smart as a starfish. But I think the answer is worse than that. I think the Republican Party is at war with common sense. I think if the Democrats came out against eating yellow snow, Rick Perry would eat yellow snow. I do, I do.
I think Republicans live in a world now where whatever a liberal says, no matter how sensible, is automatically evil, wrong, and needs to be fought with the fervor of a starving raccoon on crystal meth.
If Michele Bachmann... (grumbles) if Michele Bachmann.... If Michelle Obama (everyone cracks up) says it's good to eat vegetables and take a walk, then I'm going to sit in my garage with the car running and eat bacon grease out of a coffee can.
When the Pennsylvania Board of Education last year tried to serve less candy to students in a good faith effort to stop our children from becoming completely spherical, Sarah Palin literally rushed to Pennsylvania with a plate of sugar cookies. "Here you go, fat kids! Have a big old face full of freedom!" Oh yes, Sarah Palin, the Rosa Parks of dessert.
I mean, why? Why? Because not having diabetes is a liberal plot? If you can see your shoes, then you hate America? What is it with the pushing back on the formerly unpushbackable? Newt Gingrich attacking child labor laws. Ron Paul saying it's socialist for the government to help people after tornadoes? Arguing about paying our bills? And college! Santorum called Obama a "snob" for wanting kids to go to college, and Romney said he spent too much time at Harvard. Right, because what America needs is a President who dropped out of massage school. (audience applause)
And as it is Earth Day Sunday, let me add this to the list: the environment, another area that didn't use to be partisan. When Richard Nixon, yeah, created the EPA, both parties agreed that rivers shouldn't catch on fire, and the air shouldn't make pigeons cough. But then Al Gore embraced it, and now when the EPA wants to reduce the level of arsenic in the drinking water, you half expect to see Mitch McConnell making appearances with Archie the Arsenic Molecule.
You don't have to make everything political. That's like making all your decisions based on what Jesus would do. Paper or plastic? Sometimes Jesus just doesn't give a shit. You choose.