And now, for your poor-man's closed-captioning:
Hi boys and girls, I'm back!
Here on capitol hill to keep you Cyber-Snuggly!
We tried with SOPA, then with PIPA, and now, with CISPA . . .
. . . and if this one doesn't work, we'll keep trying-- maybe through SNOOPA, PEEKA or ARRESTYA!
Some cyberterror sympathizers say this new bill is about dumping existing privacy laws and snooping without court orders.
I say it's about keeping you snuggly and secure. Mweeheeheehee!
Don't worry, though. Private companies will only share your information with the government if it's for "Cyber-Security."
Which, just to be on the safe side, is pretty much Cyber-ANYTHING! Mweeheehee!
It's not like any of these companies would do anything to violate your privacy, right?
And if they do, we'll fine them . . . twenty-five THOUSAND dollars. . .
So, I hope little Timmy in Room 403 didn't use the internet to say his lab partner is the bomb. Because that sounds pretty cyber-attacky to me!
(And should probably be shared with the NSA, mweeheeheehee!)
But don't get paranoid, Timmy. We're just here keeping you snuggly and secure.
. . . And I won't even mention the domestic drone authorizations, mweeheeheehee!