It recently has been brought to my attention that women are speaking out about hating motherhood. I decided to write a blog post about it. Please read on.
As most of you know, I am a natural mother. I'm not a parent. I also do not ever want kids and in the process of, hopefully, getting Tubal Ligation sometime soon, based on my history. I am selfish, impatient, angry, self-centered and I absolutely hate any sort of responsibility, especially being responsible for another human being. It took me a long time to admit to all those things but since I have, I have felt much better. I have also came to realization that I actually despise majority of kids. The only kids I don't despise are the kids I babysit(because they're sweet and they listen), my younger sister, and a couple newborns from friends and family members. I tend to stay away from babies because their cry is like kryptonite to me- it pierces my ears to the point that I actually start panicking. My son is becoming a toddler so I'm starting to like him more too(yes, I don't have the maternal gene that makes women go all gooey over their own baby). I don't like babies and kids, and I am starting to realize exactly how all the other women feel when they say that they hate being mothers.
I ended up Googling the phrase "I hate being a mom" and it came up with about 57,600,000 results. You read that right. I am actually very happy women are speaking out over the hardships of motherhood. I am happy women feel they can speak out, even anonymously, about the fact that they hate being a parent. Here are some excepts from a few websites I have found:
My kids are of toddler and preschool age. They fight, scream and demand all the time. I am so unhappy. Noone tells you how awful it is to be a mother. noone! Yes there are little sweet things that happen from time to time but over all it's terrible. I am so exhausted that I can't sleep at night. My nerves are shot from the kids constant yelling, fighting, and having to explain, soothe, or whatevery 24/7. I am tired! The amount of work that it takes to be a Mom and a housewife is inhuman. I never have a moment to just relax because when I am I am thinking about what work has to be done. It's fucked up. Yes I love my kids but I hate mothering them. Whatever happened to it takes a village to raise a child? For the most part, I am the sole caregiver. My husband works from early morning until they are almost ready to go to bed. He has social functions for work and in my opinion has it real good. I had to give up my career and my entire existence for my children. and do you think anyone appreciates it. It's just expected. I didn't even get a mother's day present last year. I fantasize about running away from it all. It's too much!!! If I had to do it all over, I wouldn't have any children.
My asshole stepson is an evil mother fucker and not one day goes by that he doesnt make me furious.I want to leave, but I love my husband and I know he loves me and I dont want to leave him because its not his fault. its the BITCH ex wife and the DEVIL-BOY son. Only God can help me, but I think He is trying to teach me a lesson in all this. Maybe it's WWJD...let the little fucker treat me like shit and forgive him show love to him anyway???? I AM NOT JESUS!!! I CANT DO THAT!!!!I HATE that little bastard for treating me like shit every day. I will never love him- I will never even like him as a human being. I hope he burns in hell for the things he has done to me!!!!
My 2 yr old was just having a screaming fit and I went to type in I hate being a mother and found your post. OMG I totally know the feeling. My nerves are frayed, I keep stuffing my face iwth chocolate just so I don't scream at my kid or hurl my cell phone, etc. at the wall. I fucking just want to run away half the time, the other half I want to fucking sleep. I love my kid, I love my husband, but it really gets to be too much.
Just reading these 3 comments makes me cringe and feel so much sympathy for those women. I can feel the pure anger and frustration and it actually hurts. It hurts reading this. I feel like people have lied to them, the society has lied to them. Motherhood isn't easy, and the fact that pregnancy, childbirth and parenting is so glamorized, it makes you wonder who in their right mind came up with shit like that. It infuriates me that people push motherhood on women and think it's taboo and so damn fucking horrible when those women speak out against motherhood. I hate people!
Here are more excerpts:
hey-try having teenagers who think they no everything-i have 4 kids n a single mom.my two oldest i hate with a passion-they dont respect me-fight with me-use me -etc-im ready to get a gun n kill them-thank god theoldest dont live with me -its the second oldest -mouth is horrible-my 14 yr old n 5 yr old is scare of him-i wish he poof n disappear
YES... IHATE BEING A FUCKING PARENT TOO.. How fucked is it... Cleaning, cooking and yelling is all its all about oh and driving them around.. Wheres all the bliss and stuff they talk about.. Yes I love my son, but FU*CK I HATE THE isolation of it, i cant play my guitar anymore, I cant ride my motorbike much, anything i do for me is cut short by the kids bullshit and wingeing.. Not to mention how much it all costs and not a word of thanks... FFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKK. What a horrific lifestyle i have chosen... They need to put warning signs all over everything like they do with ciggarette packets WARNING... SEX MAY CAUSE CHILDREN.. and they need to put big scary realistic signs on all the condom packets, of mothers sittin in a muck, in chains with a miserable look on her face... and condom packets.. Why dont they warn us of how hard and shit it is... almost like a major punishment. FUCK IT.. I will go n smoke pot like the ohter person said to do...
I hate being a mother sooooo much.For some dumb ass reason I thought a baby would bring some type of joy in my life.Instead it has cause me to want to kill myself.The goals I had for life are no longer a thought are it is just that.I wish my daughter didnt make it through the pregnancy.Someone just shoot me already please.Pleeeeease
Yes, i'm so with you! I hate, hate, hate, hate every second of being a parent. She is five - no, it does not get better. I take her to concerts and theaters, stay up nights when she's sick, got her into good school, enrichment activities, teach her to read, write, cook, clean...I smile, and I hug and kiss, and tell her I love her - it's never sincere!
Every day-week-month just deeper and deeper into faking, lying, swallowing my real emotions...getting stomach cramps and migraines from all this faking, but it's still 13 more years, until she's at least 18, and I can retire from this crap.
Wish someone warned me before I had a kid - but no, the entire family spent 10 years persuading me how I'm missing on the most important and fulfilling thing in life. Yeah, right!
I just want to thank every mother who's posted here, especially the OP. SERIOUSLY, thank you.
It's actually really comforting to know that there are others out there who feel the same way I do. I too dream about running away and as much as I love my son and would give my life to protect him, I honestly regret deciding to have a child with my husband. I can't believe that I thought having a child would make my life better or make me a healthier or happier person. Who the fuck was I kidding?!!?!
I won't ever leave him, but I'll sure as hell vent about how suckful being a toddler's mother is whenever I feel like it and I won't feel guilty when dickwads with no life experience whinge and say "Oh it's not the kids fault blah blah"....if you don't have kids then seriously, shut the fuck up?!!?! Your opinion simply ain't valid.
All we can do is wish the time away I guess. Before we know it they'll be independent kids who spend most of their time at school or in their room not being demanding. One can hope.
Then, of course, there are folks who throw a backlash at women who DO speak up. Here are some examples:
Holy fucking shit, what the hell is wrong with all of you people that keep saying man "being a mom and/or a wife sucks"?!?! HONESTLY, WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY SAY THEY HATE THEIR CHILDREN?! And to the dumb bitch who said they need to put warnings on comdom wrappers, i really hope you were being sarcastic because if you are really that dumb then you just need to be fixed. someone needs to take your sorry ass to a veterinarian right the fuck now and just get you spayed! that goes for the rest of you whiny mother fuckers too!!! Seriously, how would you like growing up in a house where your own mother says she hates you?! How exactly is a 2 year old supposed to act dumbass? Did you just assume that having a child would be all sunshine and daisies because apparently thats what a lot of people now days think! NEWS FLASH DUMB FUCKS, KIDS DONT RAISE THEMSELVES!!! If you want them to act right, then teach them to fucking act right, goddamit! i hope CPS comes and takes everyone of you alls kids away because obviously you bunch are horribly unfit to be mothers let alone even be around children in any kind of influential capacity.
I would just like to point out that we, DID warn you!!! We, who don't have children, have decided not to have them because we did the research. You, on the other hand, just blindly followed the breeders. WE observed, gathered information and used your brain. YOU refused to listen and likely mooed about how you just HAD to have a baby. There are forums, boards, communities. There's plenty of information to be had for those who put some thought into the life-altering decision of popping out a sprog. Honestly, I put more thought into what kind of vacuum cleaner to buy than most people do about having a kid!
You are all embarrassing. You hate being a mother? Suck it the fuck up. Everyone does, including your mom.
May the lord have mercy on your souls. Children are innocent until they are adolescents. They are not accountable for there actions until they understand the meaning of it or if they have malice intent. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Your kids act the way they do because your nothing but a ball of negative energy around them. If you have such a problem then relinquish your rights and send them to a foster care.
I found a gem of the forum!
im 16 and i cant wait to have kids regaurdless of what you all say to the mother who wishes her kids were dead.... YOU ARE4 A COMPLETE PSYCHO AND BITCH ! JUMP OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND KILL YOURSELF! never in a million years would i wish my kid let alone any child was dead....its not their fault you decided to spread your fucking leads and get knocked the4 fuck up ! to the people who just hate being a mother SUCK THAT SHIT UP AND DEAL ! be happy that you have kids because there are some people out there who would kill to have them but cant...and here you are on this site acting like A BUNCH OF PUSSYS ! i mean really if your life suckz OH FUCKING WELL !!!!! make the most of it . aafter all...................LIFE IS ONLY AS GOOD AS YOU MAKE IT !
Yea, because a 16 year old obviously knows everything. Snort!
Wow, this is why idiots shouldn't have children, anyone with half a brain considers the consequences of having a child before they actually have one....
Selfish, lazy housewives unite. Aww you wanted to stay at home all day and do nothing? If you don't work - your job is take care of the house and kids. Not play guitar of ride your dirtbike. It's parents like you who have the dumb kids in school, that lower test scores and standard of education, because they have worthless parents. I hope one of you "ladies" die on the abortion table.
People like you don't deserve to have children. It's usually the mothers who speak like you are bad mommies. You are probably the kind of mother that gives your kid a coloring book and a set of Crayola crayons and leaves them in the corner all day while you cheat on your husband and smoke pot or pop pills. You are the kind of mother that rather feed your children a Lunchable for dinner instead of fixing them a home cooked meal.
Eat shit and die you fucking whore. May you rot in the deepest, blackest, hole of hell when you die
Most of those nasty comments are absolutely vile, to the point that it actually makes me sick to my stomach just from reading them. The fact that some people have the nerve to say those things to women who have the guts to express that they
HATE being a parent is beyond disrespectful! Here's the
forum if any of you are up to reading some very hate-filled women and how they were pushed into motherhood, either by their families, partners, or society.
There is a great new page on Facebook called "I regret having children" if any of you would be interested in checking out. Thank you.
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Tue Jul 10, 2012 at 1:22 PM PT: To everyone who thinks I am heartless because I "don't have sympathy for the children"- I do feel sympathy for them, but nothing can really be done unless the mother gets help. I feel for everyone in a situation such as this, I do, I just hope those women get help as soon as they can. The sooner they do get help, the sooner their children will be out of the danger zone.
I also believe that them speaking, even online, is a step forward to admitting they have a problem. I also don't believe that those women genuinely hate their children, I believe the pure frustration has gotten so bad that it's hard not to hate anything around you. I've been there, I've been in their shoes, I know what resentment is like, it sucks, which is why I understand these women's pain. Please don't feel that just because I don't necessarily like kids, that I condone any sort of abuse. Thank you.