The most super-duper scariest Democrat ever
weighs in on Mitt Romney's invisible tax returns
"Harry Reid made a statement that is true. Somebody told him. It is a fact," Pelosi told The Huffington Post in a Sunday interview. "Whether he did or not can easily be disposed of: Mitt Romney can release his tax returns and show whether he paid taxes."
Both Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) and Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus came out swinging against Reid on Sunday over his claims about Romney potentially not paying taxes. Asked to respond to Priebus calling Reid "a dirty liar" over the situation, Pelosi initially responded, "Who?"
This really has gone entirely too far. It was fine when we were all deciding whether or not President Clinton was a drug trafficker, or whether or not Hillary Clinton had some guy killed because of something-something-travel-receipts, or which war heros were or were not really war heroes based on this guy who said that one thing one time, or which Supreme Courts justices were probably gay based on careful examination of their softball abilities, or a bit more recently when we were determining whether the first non-white president was really even an American, given that he seems so suspiciously, you know, non-white, or which members of the House of Representatives were secretly in league with terrorists. Talking about a rich person's taxes
, though—that's just too damn much.
Mitt Romney has at this point gone to the barricades to keep the voting public from knowing how much money he made over the years, or how, or how much tax he paid on it, and I think we all can agree that only a monster would suggest that maybe if this guy wants to be president of These United States and come up new budgets and be in charge of the military and maybe help enforce laws against Wall Street types doing Wall Street things and other businesses doing other business things that maybe, just maybe, how he has conducted his own business dealings over recent years ought maybe to be a damn thing that the nation has a right to know, or at least has the right to be inherently suspicious of if it's not forthcoming.
The defense offered is that the rich business guy who wants to be president is the real victim here. Since he is not legally obliged to tell us his past financial dealings, screw you all: If nothing else, this definitely shows Mitt's true Wall Street expertise, an industry in which anything not explicitly illegal is fair game, and the illegal things are fair game too if you think you won't get caught. Now that he's clammed up tighter than if he'd been caught in bed with a dead gay hooker, the rumors are flying, and Harry Reid says he had one of Romney's old business associates tell him this certain rumor, and that, my friend, is the true abomination. Or something. You know what? I don't even care anymore.
Whatever's in Mitt Romney's old taxes, whether it be zero-tax years or Swiss tax amnesties or non-tithing or that he made several million dollars on a new product called Fetus Chow, it's apparently so bad that America wouldn't vote for the rich business guy if they saw it. At this point, that's damning enough. I realize that in Mitt Romney's circles accusations as gauche as "did this jackass even pay taxes at all?" are usually farmed out to Super PACs or mid-level rodent-haired surrogates, but I think America will survive the Senate Majority Leader making a nasty comment to a reporter during an election year. I am sorry the bad man insulted your money, Mitt. I am sorry the bad man insulted someone else's money, Reince. I can only imagine the pain your entire party must be in right now.
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