For some reason I got this in my email. The return address was a dead link. Weird.
Dear Voters of 2012,
I am writing this letter in the year 2032, nearly twenty years into President Gingrich's reign, with no end in sight. The Glorious Leader's cybernetic implants can keep his body running for decades, his scientists say. He's certainly had no trouble satisfying the current First Lady, Kaylee Gingrich, who, now that I think of it, was just getting out of diapers in the time I am speaking to you.
When I think of all the things that have changed since your time, I don't know where to begin. Shall I fill you with a sense of wonder by telling you about Moon City, where a relocated White House sits under a dome of transparent steel? Or should I gird you for the dark underbelly of your country's future, where poor minority children toil in blasted and burned out Labor Zones?
But I'm getting ahead of myself. You'd probably like to hear about things closer to home, so to speak. The election, needless to say, did not go our way. President Obama fought well, and won a popular majority. But a quixotic third-party candidacy by Ron Paul drew just enough votes to throw the election to the House. Dominated by Republicans, that body quickly awarded the election to Gingrich.
The period immediately following is now called the Unrest. A movement of progressives and moderate Obama voters angrily protested the outcome, taking up where the Occupy Wall Street movement had left off. There was widespread civil disobedience. The Gingrich administration cracked down, calling out the National Guard, but by then it was more than they could handle. After several Kent State-like incidents, Gingrich responded by withholding food shipments to "unsettled" regions. Food riots ensued.
Vice President Biden (who had been chosen by the Senate) was assassinated. President Gingrich replaced him with none other than Sarah Palin. By then government forces were putting down what they were calling a "rebellion." When the dust finally settled, thousands were dead. Opposition leaders, including former President Obama were rounded up. What followed were a series of kangaroo courts, operating under the terrorism provisions of the National Defense Authorization Act. Obama, Bill and Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and a host of others were found guilty and sentenced to prison terms of varying length. When former President Carter protested he was arrested and put on trial too. Mitt Romney didn't even get a trial, he just disappeared.
In the wake of the Unrest the President was able to push through an amazing amount of legislation. There was once laughter at Gingrich's grandiosity, but he turned out to be more of a change agent than any of us could possibly have known. In a few years he had fundamentally reshaped the basic building blocks of our country. By the middle of his second term he had the 22nd Amendment successfully repealed, and with no functioning opposition party (most liberal organizations, unions, and student groups having been made illegal by declaring them to be "terrorist" groups), he handily won "reelection" in 2020 and beyond. Voting is a lot easier, though. You can do it remotely using your implant. Oh, yeah: We have implants.
Citizenship is broken into two classes: Citizens, who have proven their worth either through national service or rigorous testing, who hold the right to vote; and denizens, who legally reside in the United States but are not guaranteed the full protections of a citizen by the Constitution. Approximately 1% of Americans are citizens.
Homosexuality is illegal. There is no question but that marriage is only between one man and one woman, although the woman's say in the matter is not necessarily deemed relevant. Church attendance is, if not technically mandatory, still a must if one wishes to advance in society, as is membership in the Republican party. The Glorious Leader's books are required reading in schools across America.
At least science has proceeded apace. President Gingrich allocated trillions in tax dollars to research and development over the years, resulting in much advanced, cutting edge technologies, such as the Space Superiority Platform, that have guaranteed US military dominance of global affairs. Since the Iranian War ended in 2020 with the vaporization of Qom by a space-based microwave beam weapon, no nation has dared oppose American (i.e. Gingrich's) will.
I am able to write to you because of one such program, an attempt to achieve time travel. (President Gingrich hopes to go back to 1998 and prevent himself being deposed as speaker, which he believes will allow him to become president even sooner.) Using discrete packets of chronotons, we have perfected a method for sending text messages backwards through time. This is the first such message, sent to you in early 2012, around January or February by our estimates. Many scientists like myself secretly oppose the President's rule, and it is our hope to prevent it ever happening by altering the timeline. We do not even know if this is possible -- our understanding of temporal physics is poor. Possibly our interference would create a parallel timeline and that nothing will change for us at all. But still it is worth the risk.
Gingrich's ascendancy to the Oval Office is said to have begun in South Carolina, but in all likelihood this message will reach you too late to do anything about that. If this reaches you before Gingrich wins Florida, there might still be a chance. Spread the word. Use your knowledge of the future to reshape the present. Stop the madman Gingrich while you still can!
Signed,
The Sons of Hope
Pfft. Like Gingrich could possibly win Florida!