Modern Math: Jenny drinks five 5 Hour Energy shots. How many hours before Jenny gets tired?
When I get scared, I just think about all the people who've fucked Rush Limbaugh and I get a renewed sense of courage.
Before Zeppelin concerts, I imagine Plant being like "Just bend a bunch of notes for 10 minutes and I'll scream after each one."
Every night, Mitt Romney repeatedly screams "HE'S A GOSH-DARN MUSLIM!" into a throw pillow that costs more than your car.
There are people who think you're stupid because they don't understand what you're saying.
We believed stars were angels. We believed the Earth was flat. We believed the Sun revolved around us. Don't put too much faith in beliefs.
The sooner you learn how to ignore the fuck out of guilt, the sooner you'll enjoy this shitty life.
You can't give me one good reason why you're so irrational.