“Oooooh… see what I did? I called Al Gore a Republican! That must mean that my political sensibilities are much more finely tuned than yours.”
-- Taylor Mali, How To Write A Political Poem
I mailed my ballot today. I guess this means the election is almost over. Soon, the “undecided voters” will go back into hiding for another four years, then promptly wake up and demand to know why no one fixed the system for them.
“Why,” they will cry, “Must I choose between two people who are similar in some ways? They both wear suits! They both get lots of campaign contributions! I can’t tell the difference! Why don’t I get to make an obvious choice between Sycophant-Jesus, and Hitler-the-Puppy-Rapist?”
[Cont.]
Well, basically because you’ve had your head up your ass for the last four years. Obama is not the Sycophant-Jesus, who is morally untouchable yet only does things you like. He never has been. He’s been too busy being the leader of the friggin' free world. You know, a job that requires getting your hands dirty and doing things that not every single one of the millions of American citizens agrees with all the time.
Mitt Romney, despite all his flaws, is not Hitler-the-Puppy-Rapist. But that’s all the defending I’m going to do. I’ll let his campaign make his case.
I have no sympathy for people that can’t tell the difference between these two, or stamp their feet and vote for Roseanne Barr in some sort of political martyrdom/tantrum. Why? Because we all know what would happen if they truly did have the choice between Sycophant-Jesus, and Hitler-the-Puppy-Rapist. It would go something like this:
“Wait… you mean they both like puppies? How am I supposed to tell the difference?? Rabble, rabble! Someone should have established a viable third-party while I was on the couch watching Honey Boo-Boo! Rabble, rabble! The system is broken! I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK!! I WANT MY COUNTRY BACK!!”