You thought Michael "Heckuva Job" Brown was clueless and arrogant before? Well, he's managed to outdo himself:
Hurricane Sandy proved once again you can't beat Mother Nature.
Silly me; I guess I learned the wrong lesson from a long line of nature-beaters going back to Og starting a fire by rubbing two sticks together. But anyhoo, let's continue to more pearls of Brownie wisdom:
She alone was able to interrupt a presidential campaign in the United States, something many of us who have been inundated with campaign stops, incessant campaign commercials, and non-stop polls could only dream of doing.
Well, she was able to interrupt one side of the campaign, anyway.
The other one continued on schedule, pausing just long enough to don a pair of "relief effort" Groucho glasses.
But what else can we learn from this superstorm that brought New York, Washington, and the environs between, to a standstill?
To learn the important lessons Brownie finds in this event, continue past the chart showing the residual wind swirls left over from the storm....
More than seven million people were without electricity. That means, absent a prepper's stash of batteries, generators and solar-powered chargers, seven million people didn't have access to laptops, microwaves, ATM machines, televisions, forced-air heating, subways and commuter trains, and all the thousands of modern conveniences we have come to depend upon in this hyper-technological society. You might not be among those seven million today, but you could be next time.
It's just that simple! Well, admittedly, lack of access to a microwave would be a problem insofar as right-wing hacks would have to come up with some other explanation for
why poor people have it too easy, but it's not as if people are missing out on anything important like food or water or shelter....
Oh. Wait. Boy, would Brownie's face be red, if he had the slightest trace of common sense or self-awareness! Lacking those burdensome qualities, he is instead able to continue blithely on to his conclusion:
Hurricane Sandy should teach us to be prepared, willing to live without the modern conveniences of elevators, computers and refrigerators. Hurricane Sandy should teach all of us to chill.
And if you're one of the ones who experiences an injury or other medical emergency during this refreshing pause in the hectic clamor of modern civilization, you'll get to "chill" all the way down to room temperature (now identical to November outdoor temperature), permanently.
Well, those are Brownie's words of wisdom to you. My words of wisdom to him are more succinct:
Go away, asshole!