Look out, Ann..., Mitt's got a new BFF:
Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney says that he loves Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) as his running mate almost as much as he loves his wife of 43 years.
“I want to tell you how much I appreciate being in the home of the next vice president of the United States,” Romney told a group of supporters in West Allis, Wisconsin on Friday. “You know, next to Ann Romney, Paul Ryan is the best choice I’ve ever made.”
It's hard to know who's more likely to feel dissed by this bromance. Ann, who's had to endure 43 years of
indentured servitude marriage to this jackass? Former employees and business associates who thought they were in Mitt's inner circle? Past political allies who haven't yet wised up to the fact that they were just extras in the movie of Mitt's marvelous life? Campaign workers who set aside their lives to get this pretender onto the throne?
Then of course there's the MittKids, not that he "chose" them, really, but he did bring them into the campaign and give them little bits of seed money for their business ventures. They might have thought that they held some special place in what passes for Mitt's heart, but no... they're old news too. Mitt's got a new surrogate son in Paul Ryan, and he's not going to be playing catch with you kids in the back yard anymore. Sorry.
Nope, they're all sporting bus-tire tracks this morning as Mitt reveals his one true love: the hydration-challenged Ayn Randian Wisconsin wunderkind. The missing link connecting the Pale One with the rape-obsessed Akin-Mourdock wing of the Far Right. Paul Ryan, a man who - like Mitt - stands ready, scissors in hand, to do some real damage. A man cheered by the screams of millions plummeting through the holes he's cut in their safety net. A man oblivious to the dissonance between his Objectivist aims and his professed Catholic faith.
This is the man for whom Mitt has all but jilted his wife Marie Mittoinette Ann who, let's face it, has done all she can for the campaign, braving the Great Unwashed Masses with only a pearl necklace and a small bottle of hand sanitizer. A woman who, even knowing the strain this campaign would force on her already tormented family was willing to go all in and travel the country (and the world) assuring us that her husband was actually a wild and funny guy (all evidence to the contrary notwithstanding).
Nice work, Ann, but you're through here. Why don't you spend the next few days shopping or something. I'm sure you could use a few new frocks or whatever you call those Oscar de la Renta outfits. Paul and I have this thing covered. We might be out late, so don't wait up.