Last night, Stephen Colbert had a brilliant segment showing just exactly how the Republican Party has been catering to white racists, and why that strategy no longer works.
Folks, I've had it! This disturbing lack of violence is not just a problem for our city, it is a problem for the Republican Party. In this last election, they lost the blacks, they lost the women, they lost young voters, they lost Latinos by 44%! Even more surprising, they failed to get 100% of the white male vote. But there might be a way to turn the voter tide in the GOP's favor, and it brings us to tonight's Wørd: Base Instincts.
Now folks, declining street violence may seem like a positive development to some, but as the Washington Post's Charles Lane recently wrote, "Fear of street crime... [once] converted many a white working-class Democrat into a Republican." But "safer streets... have [now] blunted what was once a sharp wedge issue."
And folks, without crime, the GOP's only remaining wedge issues are gay marriage, immigration, flag burning, voter fraud, welfare, gun control, and of course, contraception. (Love-Gun Control)
Now, in the good old bad days of the '80s, Republicans could turn out the suburban white vote simply by showing images of scary guys like Willie Horton being allowed to go in and out of prison. To this day, I'm terrified to go through a revolving door. (Stephen Thinks It's A Time Machine)
....
We have got to do something to scare white voters into voting Republican. (We Tried A Black President) (audience laughter)
So, tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I am calling on all of America's disenfranchised minorities to violently rise up against the white male patriarchy that is keeping you down! It is time to stick it to the man. And I should know; I'm the man! (But With Womanly Hips)
....
So on behalf of all my friends in the Republican Party, please do something frightening between now and the midterm elections. Because if you do not, the Republicans will have to do something truly terrifying, like addressing the needs of blacks, women, and Hispanics.
Video and full transcript below the fold.
Nation, I love New York City. The Big Apple, the city that never sleeps, Rat Xanadu. So I was crushed the learn the metropolis I know and love has changed.
PIX NEWS (11/28/2012): Not one person was murdered in New York City on Monday. ... NYPD Deputy Commissioner Paul Brown couldn't even remember the last time a day went by when not one person was shot, stabbed, or slashed.
(wild audience applause)
What happened?? I remember the real New York of the '80s, when in a single night, you could score some weed, catch a Times Square porno, and then get stabbed in the neck by a coked-up Lou Reed. And that was a pretty good first date! Now Times Square has become a Disney-fied Bubba Gump wimp company! The worst that could happen is one of those giant M&M's tries to flash you its peanut. I mean, where is the thrilling dangerous city of Midnight Cowboy or Taxi Driver?
TRAVIS BICKLE: You talkin' to me?
I wish I was talking to you! Instead I'm talking to her!
MARY POPPINS: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Supercalifragilisticexpialiblowme!
Folks, I've had it! This disturbing lack of violence is not just a problem for our city, it is a problem for the Republican Party. In this last election, they lost the blacks, they lost the women, they lost young voters, they lost Latinos by 44%! Even more surprising, they failed to get 100% of the white male vote. But there might be a way to turn the voter tide in the GOP's favor, and it brings us to tonight's Wørd: Base Instincts.
Now folks, declining street violence may seem like a positive development to some, but as the Washington Post's Charles Lane recently wrote, "Fear of street crime... [once] converted many a white working-class Democrat into a Republican." But "safer streets... have [now] blunted what was once a sharp wedge issue."
And folks, without crime, the GOP's only remaining wedge issues are gay marriage, immigration, flag burning, voter fraud, welfare, gun control, and of course, contraception. (Love-Gun Control)
Now, in the good old bad days of the '80s, Republicans could turn out the suburban white vote simply by showing images of scary guys like Willie Horton being allowed to go in and out of prison. To this day, I'm terrified to go through a revolving door. (Stephen Thinks It's A Time Machine)
Now, getting tough on crime was a key conservative issue that is gone. And worse, it's the conservatives' own damn fault. Take Rudy Giuliani. The Republican tough on crime New York mayor who cracked down on turnstile jumpers, broken windows, and squeegee guys. Squeegee guys who curiously disappeared right before the opening of New York's Bodies exhibit.
Unfortunately, it worked too well. Now, the right is being punished for its own success, like dentists who gave us fluoride and now don't have cavities to fill, or my Teach a Man to Fish seafood restaurant.
No one ever comes back!
We have got to do something to scare white voters into voting Republican. (We Tried A Black President) (audience laughter)
So, tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I am calling on all of America's disenfranchised minorities to violently rise up against the white male patriarchy that is keeping you down! It is time to stick it to the man. And I should know; I'm the man! (But With Womanly Hips)
I mean, look, look at everything I have. You see this iPad? See this iPad right here? I got it for free. And my free iPad has its own free mini iPad, which has its own free iPhone 5, which has a free Nano, which has its own free Shuffle!
I can afford all this, but I don't have to pay for it. Doesn't that just make you want to bludgeon me with a chair leg until I burst open like a cash piñata? (Stepehn Also Full of Tootsie Rolls)
Meanwhile, downtrodden, your future prospects are pretty dim. I mean, have you heard the coming cuts to public education or food stamps? Have you heard about the cuts to Medicaid? (Medicaid No Longer Covers Hearing Aid) And folks, let me tell you, the rich just get richer. So really, mugging an old couple outside the opera house is a form of justice. (Plus, Their Son Might Become Batman!) (audience laughter)
I mean, think about it. Ultimately, all of this is society's fault, and I say it's payback time! You know what might put you in the mindset for mayhem? Nice big bag of meth.
Mm, some of the tasty blue. Go nuts! Tweak out! Torch a mall food court! (Panda-monium Express)
So on behalf of all my friends in the Republican Party, please do something frightening between now and the midterm elections. Because if you do not, the Republicans will have to do something truly terrifying, like addressing the needs of blacks, women, and Hispanics. (Base Instincts) And that's the Wørd. We'll be right back.
Stephen has also branded this
Hobbit Week, as he is a
MAJOR Lord of the Rings fan. As in, bigger than you. All the interviews this week are with the actors and director associated with
The Hobbit, with last night being Sir
Ian McKellen.
He then looked at the latest innovation for old people:
granny pods.
Meanwhile, Jon covered the ongoing
War on Christmas as seen by Fox News, and an incident of friendly fire when
Bill O'Reilly declared Christianity is NOT a religion!
He then
looked at Sen. Mitch McConnell's (R-KY) excuses on not reforming the filibuster.
Jon talked with actor
Denis Leary.