My mom hasn't really been following the GOP Presidential "campaign" much, so in a recent conversation with her she expressed some confusion over who was who when I went over some of their policy positions. And, in fact, their policy positions are so virtually indistinguishable that clearly that wasn't going to cut it for her.
So I came up with a short list for her to remember the candidates, and I believer the essence of the 2012 campaign is encapsulated herein:
Quick Guide to the 2012 GOP Candidates:
Mitt Romney: Made his dog ride on the roof.
Rick Santorum: Dog on man sex.
Herman Cain: cheated on his wife.
Newt Gingrich: cheated on his wives.
Michele Bachmann: reads teleprompters at a funny, scary angle.
Rick Perry: can't remember three things at once.
Ron Paul: wants to legalize marijuana and outlaw disaster relief.
John Huntsman: his sugar daddy is actually his real life daddy.
Tim Pawlenty: afraid of Mitt Romney.
Gary Johnson: the guy they wouldn't let debate, so he quit to become a Libertarian.
Buddy Roemer: the Colbert guy.
Stephen Colbert: Super PAC!