I work at a warehouse that shall remain un-named in Southern California. I make a wage that would be considered on the lower rung of working class.
I probably have aspergers which means I have no filter. I also graduated with a BS in business, and would REALLY like to be doing just about ANYTHING else. I hate the work, I dislike about half of my co-workers and I absolutely despise the night shift.
Here is an example of one of the exchanges that get me in trouble.
I have a meddling co worker who runs items up to boxes with items that were "shorted", in other words items that were not packable at the time the item was demanded.
This co worker thinks she is a supervisor, and LOVES to meddle and give people orders. Sometimes, this is good advice, other times, she just likes to order people around. I do not like this person.
She walks up to me and says
"I could have tripped on this box that you didn't clean up after yourself, I could have tripped, hit my head and fallen into the cardboard conveyor and had it grind me up"*
Normally speaking, I let comments like this slide, smile, apologize and go about my day but today, I was not feeling like being pissed about. I turned around smiled and said,
"That theory is unlikely to happen, here is a more likely one,
You slip on that cardboard, fall forward and hit your head on the dead rollers, receiving a slight concussion and a minor abrasion on your forehead. You think nothing of it, you see the nurse for a bandage and are taken home. The next day you get what you assume is a slight sinus infection and a headache and decide to stay home. The day after that you get a minor fever which soon onsets into what you think is a major flu, vomiting and chills. You go to the hospital, running a temperature of around 105 degrees. You collapse at the emergency room door, and are immediately admitted for what the hospital assumes are concussion related injuries.
What you, and for a while the hospital do not know is that when you received that minor abrasion you actually contracted a flesh eating variant of the staph virus that moves from that cut on your forehead to your nasal passages, spreading to your brain in a day or so. The doctors diagnose you by this point and start you on a regimen of antibiotics, and put you into what they think is an induced coma but what they do not realize is by this point the part of your brain that affects consciousness has been turned into something resembling cottage cheese. You are semi conscious, unresponsive to the world but shrieking in agony on the inside as the infection plays hell with your brain matter.
Your brain begins to shut down, as your temporal lobe begins to liquefy. Memories merge and wire together with worst fears and nightmares as your brain tries to piece together a coherent identity inside a cortex that is rapidly turning into soup. You spend the next day or so in what feels like years of hellish torment combined with terrifying visions that make the book of Revelations look like a children's bedtime story. Because at this point the part of your brain that manages your perception of time has liquefied into glue.
The last monkey layer of your brain to go fades away shrieking in absolute gibbering terror as on some basic animal level, it still feels absolute screaming agony and the knowledge of not only knowing it is dying, but feeling the terror that goes with it.
When the last remnants of what could be called a soul, or consciousness dissolve from the grey goo that is now your antibiotic immune fecal germ infected brain, it is with the grateful realization that there is no afterlife... Just black.eternal. unending. night.
The last part of that speech was delivered in my best brassy flat emotionless voice as the last word seems to break the spell I cast over her and a few of my other co workers (now witnesses to the whole event) run off to go tell my manager.
At the end of the shift I was informed that that display earned me a suspension, possibly a termination. I knew I should have stopped about halfway into the whole tirade, but I was on a roll and the dye was cast, and I was pissed.
I REALLY shouldn't have done that. Said those things to my co worker, but the horrific nature of what I was saying only became apparent to me about halfway through, and I really have no filter.
* The empty boxes of items that were packed are supposed to be kicked into a cardboard conveyor to be shredded and resold to a bulk recycler.