Sunday morning, my phone began vibrating about 4:30 AM. I kept trying to sleep, but the phone was so insistent. No break, just continual notifications. My Facebook App had gone batty...Surely something was wrong. I put the phone under the bed, and turned on a little Joni Mitchell to snooze a little longer.
When I finally gave up on re-entering the dream world and joined the living, I realized what was going on. Oh yeah...It was my birthday. My "Jesus Year" as some friends told me. 33, a number with about as many curves as my...umm...work-in-progress body.
I Stumbled to the coffee pot...and I do mean stumbling, plantar fasciitis is a pain. (Years of durn blasted cowboy boots...the male high heel) I tried to read some of the postings on my Facebook wall while the caffeine elixer slowly dripped into the carafe. As my brain cells slowly realized the futility of resistance, I realized how lucky I was to have so many people in my life who cared enough to wish me a happy birthday.
(You might be wondering what this has to do with a shrinking world. Just hang in there with me, and hopefully you will understand what I mean.)
Stepping away from the coffee pot...something I hate to do...let me provide some personal context.
I consider my childhood a mixed blessing. I was not afforded the benefit of developing long term friendships, as we were always moving around. I went to 12 different schools from K-12 in four different states, including two different high schools in two different states. I was able to develop short term skills on developing friendships. I was also able to develop those chameleon skills that served me well as a gay man, always adapting the match the personality of the surroundings. Unfortunately, that same skill kept me from learning to be myself, and learn to love what I saw in the mirror. My life became so focused on trying to please other people and gain their approval. Those lessons we learn about relationships during our school days passed my by due to the transitive nature of my youth.
Let me be clear, I'm not saying that to be negative about my upbringing. There are things about those experiences I would not trade for anything in the world. I just had to learn things differently...and sometimes with a few extra lumps on my head.
Ok...returning to the coffee pot.
As I read the Facebook wall posts, I realized the wide swath of my world they represent. There were family members, church people, softball opponents, high school friends, high school acquaintances (and an enemy or two) who have become online friends, drinking buddies, fraternity brothers, college classmates, current co-workers, former co-workers, customers, family friends, friends from the gay rodeo association, former flings (at least the ones that ended well), people I used to march with in the Florida State Marching Chiefs, people I met through the NLGJA (National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association) when I was a student intern at a couple of conventions, people from the local gay leather group, and random people who added me on facebook because we had mutual friends and they liked my smile.
These people represent my community. My personal community. I've tried to pare down my friends list on facebook, but I feel a personal connection to nearly all of them. They live all across the US, and even some in other countries. They represent a wide array of views stretching the gamut from tea party to socialist. They are straight, gay, bisexual, men, women, transmen, transwomen, married, single, aged like a fine wine, young pups, and those coasting in the Middle Ground. (h/t to Mary Chapin Carpenter)
I know those are long lists, but that is a snap-shot of what I saw. As I sipped my coffee, my mind started reflecting on community and what it means today versus what it was when I was a kid.
When I was a kid, I would live somewhere for a few years and then move away. The friends I made I tried to keep, but inevitably I would lose them because ten year olds really are not good pen pals. I got a little better as I hit middle school, but it still was not an easy thing. I wonder if that would be the case today. Today's youth are much more connected electronically. Would I have kept those friends, or would they gotten bored and dropped me?
The connectivity of our society is shrinking the world. We have the opportunity to meet and talk to people from every corner of this world. News travels fast and wide. Pictures are shared instantly when they used to take weeks. (Take the picture, get the film developed, and then mail the pictures)
Oh...and also only with this connectivity could my mother post this...
...and people who will never meet my mother can suddenly share the moment with her, laughing at how I still have the same smile, although with teeth. (And by the way...I had hair there...it was just so white it didn't show in pictures until I was 18 months old)
It is an interesting shrinking world we have now. Even this community is reaching me locally, as last night I had dinner with Scottie Thomaston while he was in Nashville.
I love how this has connectivity enabled me to reconnect with people I lost, and allow me to keep in touch with people I love. It draws us closer, if only emotionally.
My only concern with this shrinking world is this. As the world shrinks, the importance of a strong local community lessens. It is easy to get into our corners and hold tight to the virtual community with like minded people. We need to remember that for people to join our world, they need to know it exists. GLBT youth often feel lost because they don't feel there is a community that will open wide for them. I strongly feel no community is a lost cause, no matter how conservative. Truth will always win out, but you have to be a part of the community to find the opening to squeeze the truth in. And you also have to be a part of the community to be able to find those kindred spirits who are lost.
So anyway...we are blessed with this technology, because I feel the positives outweigh the negatives. I am thankful for it bringing me to this Orange-Tinted community...Sometimes the content is sweet, sometimes bitter, but always coated with an orange zest that sticks on your fingers.