Its probably not a good idea to for a white man to use his best "negro" speak when talking to me about Trayvon Martin.
Last night I was at a neighborhood party for the opening of our swimming pool for the summer. It signifies the beginning of cool dips in our pool, friendly neighborhood summer swim team season, and seeing neighbors I don't see often until this time of year. Over margaritas and really mediocre mexican catering we catch up with each other. My husband calls it our $500 dinner because besides our summer club dues, its the only "event" that our pool sponsors that we don't have to also pay for.
You never know what's going to come out of someone's mouth during these things, especially after a few margaritas. Most of the conversations are about our children, what they're doing, how old they are, how they've grown, and what their school year has been like. I generally like to hear about other people's children. It's interesting to me. I'm a networking type of person and pay attention to the fundamentals of "working" a room.
Our neighborhood club has created wonderful memories for our family. My daughter swam competitively on the swim team from age 5 until 18, she was a lifeguard for most of her teenage years and even ran the concession stand. My husband was "voice of the dolphins" for many years, calling the swim meets. I ran the swim team for three years and volunteered many hours for the club.
Just recently my daughter was needing some recommendations for a volunteer program she wants to participate in while in her sophomore year in college and asked one of our neighbors to write a letter for her. This neighborhood does that kinda thing for each other. He wrote a great, glowing letter for her. I was thrilled and grateful.
While at the party I was approached by a neighbor who wanted to know if I could help his son who's attending an internship in NYC to find some temporary housing there. I said I could ask around since my daughter had just secured some "free" housing in NYC for a couple of days from a colleague. It was in this same breath that my neighbor then spoke about his genuine concern about the safety of his son near Columbia in Harlem. Now I've never been to Harlem, but I do know that Columbia University is a very prestigious institution. Safety is always a concern about our children, even our grown children. But then he launched into his "negro speak" accent saying, "Well you know he could be approached by some Trayvon Martin."
I'm always stunned by blatant racism. It shocks me. I go into some third rail zone, where my brain is trying to process what I think I'm hearing. I was literally speechless. I decided to quickly end my conversation with him and walked away. But since last night, I have run the conversation over in my head again. What was that about? Why would this neighbor think its appropriate to do that? To talk that way? Why didn't I respond? Why didn't I get "into" it with him? Why did he think it was appropriate to talk to me that way? Does he think that I think like that? Agree with him? Now, I'm really pissed off...
This reminds me that anyone can be a racist. I was raised in south Georgia and I have been around racism all of my life. All of my family members are racist. They don't like people who are different than them. I'm a white, liberal woman and I don't like racism. Not one bit, I don't like people who think that the color of ones skin represents all they need to know about that person. I'm ashamed of my neighbor and his beliefs. It also reflects poorly on me that I stood by and didn't call him out. Next time, I'm not going to stand by or just walk away. It's time my neighbor hears my voice and it will be my voice. Don't think he'll be ready for it...
PS. And no, I will not be helping your son find "free" housing in NYC. Find it yourself!