From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
"It ain't the years, it's the mileage. If by mileage you mean years."
The annual Beloit College Mindset List is generating the usual gasps and titters as it reflects on how the mental cards are stacked in the collective minds of the Class of 2016, meaning you whippersnappers born in---ugh, do I have to say it?---1994. Welcome to their world…
They watch television everywhere but on a television.
They have come to political consciousness during a time of increasing doubts about America’s future.
Carpe diem, yo.
Robert DeNiro is thought of as Greg Focker's long-suffering father-in-law, not as Vito Corleone or Jimmy Conway.
The paradox "too big to fail" has been, for their generation, what "we had to destroy the village in order to save it" was for their grandparents'.
Bill Clinton is a senior statesman of whose presidency they have little knowledge.
Women have always piloted war planes and space shuttles.
White House security has never felt it necessary to wear rubber gloves when gay groups have visited.
Genomes of living things have always been sequenced.
A bit of the late Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, has always existed in space.
Despite being preferred urban gathering places, two-thirds of the independent bookstores in the United States have closed for good during their lifetimes.
And for future reference, the first class of students who will have lived through none of the Bush, Jr. presidency will be the class of 2031. Lucky ducks.
Cheers and Jeers grabs its walker and shuffles below the fold while sucking on hard candy and daring (romney)-RYAN to take away my Medicare... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Note: You'd think that Republicans would be more enlightened on the subject of rape, given that they're the Party of "No!" But…no.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte: 15
Days 'til the Pig Island Food Festival on Governor's Island in New York Harbor: 10
Percent of conservative registered voters who support Paul Ryan's Medicare voucher scheme when it's called "The Ryan Plan": 61%
Percent of conservative registered voters who support the voucher scheme when it's generically explained without referring to Paul Ryan: 28%
(Source: Daily Kos/SEIU poll)
Cases of West Nile virus reported in the U.S.: 693
(Source: CDC)
Percent of French President Francois Hollande's cabinet made up of women: 50%
(Source: Harper's Index)
Current value of Apple: $623 billion
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 183 (including 5 Economies and 10 products and services for the end of the world). Soul Protection Factor 38 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Late for work
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CHEERS to choosing vanity over sanity. Missouri Congressman Todd Akin (Big-Fat-R) is stayin' in the U.S. Senate race against Claire McCaskill, and he's so serious about his pro-life stance that his revamped campaign website is now fetus-free! Akin made the announcement yesterday, saying, "I'm gonna beat that woman!!! Er…oh you know what I mean!" For Republicans smart enough to know that this is a political disaster, Charles Krauthammer felt their pain last night by saying on Fox News that Akin had just done the equivilent of leaving a horse's head in Mitt Romney's bed. After all, his VP choice, Paul Ryan, is Akin's BFF and ideological soulmate. For Democrats---and incumbent McCaskill in particular---the news was like Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan and Festivus all rolled into one. Now sitting on Akin's porch this morning: a giant bouquet of flowers with a thank-you note from the Senate Majority Leader. (I hope Todd can read it through Harry Reid's tears-of-joy stains.)
"I just hope Roberts doesn't
screw up the Oath again."
CHEERS to another dose of economic reality. Monday in C&J we published more proof that Republican trickle-down economics
is a crock. Now comes an interesting analysis of the Bush Great Recession, which reveals the depth of the 2008 meltdown and a glimpse into why voters are cutting President Obama some slack for
dealing with what he inherited:
Credit, the fuel that powers economies, evaporated after Lehman Brothers collapsed in September 2008. And a 30 percent drop in housing prices erased trillions in home equity and brought construction to a near-standstill. So any recovery was destined to be a slog.
"A housing collapse is very different from a stock market bubble and crash," says Nobel Prize-winning economist Peter Diamond of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. "It affects so many people. It only corrects very slowly."
I think people understand, not without frustration, just how deep the hole was that Bush allowed to be dug and how heavily the cards were stacked against the current president when he took office. Given that, plus the way the GOP is scaring people by showing what they really stand for, my prediction of an Obama landslide still stands. You might say it'll be a "Declaration of Independents." Because you're clever, and I respect that.
JEERS to today's comforting words of civility. Michael Baumgartner, who's running for the privilege of losing to Maria Cantwell in the U.S. Senate race in Washington, responded to a query from Seattle blog Publicola with class and restraint:
"Go fuck yourself."
Eh. Cheney's rendition was better.
CHEERS to tea and bragging rights. 161 years ago today, in 1851, the schooner America outraced a small fleet of British ships belonging to the Royal Yacht Squadron off the English coast to win the trophy that came to be known as the America's Cup. And I believe I speak for all Americans today when I say: [Pulls down pants] "Kiss mah bum, blokes!" (With all due respect.)
Mars Rover "Curiosity"
CHEERS to seeing red. The Mars Rover "Curiosity" got a clean bill of diagnostic health after landing on the planet surface a couple weeks back. Now it's time to get that buggy busy on behalf of the homeland! Being an American occupier, naturally the first thing on the agenda was to
start shooting up the place with a laser. Still too early for a victory parade with the Martian version of sweets and flowers (that would be, um, rocks & more rocks), but
not too early for "Curiosity" to put up the MISSION ACCOMPLISHED banner (probably on a rock). On today's to-do list: firing up the freedom fries launcher and spreading those starchy slivers of Jeffersonian democracy throughout the fruited plain, if by "fruited" you mean covered with rocks. Of course, if any actual life forms show up, the
Curiosity is prepared. It keeps a Glock in its codpiece.
Bring it on!
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Five years ago in C&J: August 22, 2007
CHEERS to must-see TV. Senator Barack Obama will appear on The Daily Show tonight. He'll arrive reeking of Jack Daniels and spouting a variety of obscenities as he promotes a plan to outlaw SUVs and Christmas. Or so the Republican TiVo horde hopes. [8/22/12 Update: Part 1 here. Part 2 here. The Republican horde was disappointed. Wah.]
JEERS to lying liars, part 3,438. Karl Rove on Sunday's Meet the Press:
"[Y]ou look at the compassion agenda...this president has been able to offer a bold and optimistic agenda and get it done."
Reporter Robert Pear in yesterday's
New York Times:
"The Bush administration, continuing its fight to stop states from expanding the popular Children’s Health Insurance Program, has adopted new standards that would make it much more difficult for New York, California and others to extend coverage to children in middle-income families."
Feel the love.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the birthday kitty. Have you ever noticed that Mitt Romney never says "Pooties are people, my friends?" There's a reason for that: he'd get his Arrow shirts sliced and diced in a cloud of fur, fangs and blood-curdling yowls of feline umbrage. Hence the reason I'm giving a gentle and respectful shoutout to our graceful, intelligent and extremely beautiful goddess kitty on this, her birthday---or, more accurately, her adoption day.
Moments after the paw-wrestling match
victory of Fantom (r) over Molly.
Three years ago today, Michael and I visited our local shelter in search of a fuzzball to adopt, and chose the one that bit our ankles the least. We named her Fantom on account of she kinda has a mask like the Phantom of the Opera (but with an F to avoid any more Andrew Lloyd Webber lawsuits, like the time he went after us for naming a previous pootie "Jesus Christ Jesus Christ Who Are You What Have You Sacrificed"). Fantom is a petite calico with stubby legs---the dachshund of the cat world, we call her. She's pretty much in the middle of the Sociability Scale: says hello half the time, says goodbye half the time.
And she does pretty much what you'd expect: eat, sleep, drink out of the faucet, barf, have stare-downs with squirrels, torture bugs, purr when skritched, and turn down any food not topped with beluga caviar. And every morning when the dog takes me out behind the garage to go potty, Fantom tags along, happy to gnaw on a few blades of grass for future barfage, and then go back inside to take a nap on the downstairs tenants' mattress stored in the basement. She's a cat schooled in the mysterious arts of "teh kitteh," and today we prostrate ourselves and wish Fantom a Happy Birfday. And thanks for keeping us for another year.
Have a nice Wednesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Shoomp! Shoomp! Cheers and Jeers went through ya!"
---Faith Healer
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