Conservatives always get angry when liberals accuse them of being stupid. Then they go and invite the Queen of Stupid -- the very embodiment of all things stupid -- to speak at a high-profile national event like the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC). Here Sarah Palin brandished a Big Gulp in a hostile shout-out to New York mayor Michael Bloomberg for his attempt to regulate extra-large soft drinks (as shown in the photo above looking like someone's poor drunk aunt at a family reunion), and thrilled her audience of adoring troglodytes with the standard Palin shtick of homespun
-wisdom and snarky one-liners directed against President Obama and the Democratic Party.
On the topic of background checks for gun purchases, Palin threw out a hunk of dripping red meat to the Birther contingent: "Dandy idea, Mr. President, we should have started with yours." This former half-term quitter-governor, failed vice-presidential nominee, and fading TV personality said that our president should have undergone a background check, as though he were a common criminal. It was Pure Palin: stupid, trashy, and cheap. And her audience loved it, because they're stupid, trashy, and cheap.
Like other liberals, I've often asked myself why the media still pays attention to Sarah Palin. Perhaps a better question would be why Republicans still pay attention to her. If, as Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal has said, the GOP needs to “stop being the stupid party,” then why do Republicans still insist on showcasing the very face of stupid for the nation and the world to see at events such as CPAC? And why do attendees at events like CPAC still flock to see her and to cheer every stupid line that drips like stupid sauce from her stupid mouth?
I know why liberals still pay attention to her: Because her stupidity and her high profile at events like CPAC make the whole Republican Party look stupid. We pay attention to Sarah Palin for the same reason that we pay attention to Louis Gohmert, Michele Bachmann, and Rick Perry. Each of these personalities is like a different color of stupid paint that we can brush all over the GOP: Palin Pink, Gohmert Green, Bachmann Blue, Perry Purple.... It's a Republican Rainbow of Stupid!
Then again, maybe Silly Sarah isn't quite as stupid as she seems: After all, she's rich and famous now, without meriting any of the wealth or fame that she has received. It isn't every day that so much falls into the hands of one so undeserving as Sarah Palin. If anything, she seems quite generously endowed with the low-grade intelligence of a good con artist, of one who can spot a sucker a mile away and tell him just what he needs to hear in order to part him from the money in his pocket. She seems quite adept at pandering to and manipulating the dull-witted, and probably also at intimidating those under her command. Sarah Palin is a grabber, and she's grabbing what she can while the grabbing is good. Such a low form of political street smarts probably won't get you into into the White House, but it will get you appearances on Fox News, speaking slots at CPAC, and lot of cold hard cash.
On the other hand, her devotees must certainly be every bit as stupid as liberals often accuse them of being; every bit as big a bunch of suckers as they seem. Who but an abject nincompoop could fall, again and again, for such a silly shtick as that of Silly Sarah, former half-term quitter-governor of Alaska and one sad old man's failed vice-presidential nominee? Since 2008, Palin's adoring followers have told themselves that we liberals attack Sarah and call her stupid because we're afraid of her. Because we're afraid of her! How stupid is that? How stupid must one be not to realize that, for liberals, each and every Palin public appearance is like a five-gallon bucket of stupid paint that we can fling like Jackson Pollock across the entire threadbare, wrinkled canvas of the GOP? I'm sorry, but I just can't see how any intelligent person could find Sarah Palin the least bit appealing, or could imagine that liberals are afraid of her.
Sarah Palin probably won't help any Republicans get elected, but she will make a lot of money and enjoy the adulation of a lot of people who really just aren't very clever but who are really angry about something. And for as long as it lasts, that's good enough for Silly Sarah.
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