From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE
If We Can Find Common Ground with Iran…
I can't help it. This always happens when there's less than 48 hours on the clock 'til Thanksgiving. My icy cynicism melts away to reveal a heart bursting with Twinkie fluff, pork rinds and a renewed faith in humanity. I know it's just a phase that'll pass. But whenever I'm feeling all mushy gushy, I enjoy dressing up like Mama Grizzly Jesus Reagan and parachuting into the conservative blogosphere to search for comments that reflect our oneness as North American bipeds. I'm happy to say that my latest foray was successful. These are actual pearls I brought back from the sputum-swept outpost known as World Net Daily:
Possible rain- take umbrella
I can live without the NFL if I have to.
Back in the day Chuck Norris could make a train take a dirt road.
We have to band together as civilized human beings and protect kids.
I saw this in Righty Blogistan. I'm not
sure which candidate drove it into the
ditch, but the locals say it's Todd Akin's.
American citizens WANT TO WORK
I have no issue with anyone, including Jose Canseco, owning and transporting goats.
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil.
I am from Illinois.
One reason people are leaving cable is the ridiculous cost. They keep raising the rates.
Mail can pile up REAL fast in some situations.
Kennedy was many things; some great some reprehensible. That not withstanding he was above all else an American.
Disclaimer: These are the
only sane comments I found over there, and for the upcoming holiday known as The Holidays I'd like Santa to add those 150 search hours back to my lifespan. The Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots can wait.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Note: If you break a Jesus ornament, you go straight to hell. A message from your friends at the United Hair Trigger Church of Christ.
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1 day!!!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the end of Atlantic hurricane season:
4
Days 'til the
lighting of the National Chanukah Menorah in D.C.:
1
Years since Maurice Sendak's
Where the Wild Things was released:
50
Number of public schools named after Washington and Lincoln, respectively:
52, 43
Number of public schools named for John F. Kennedy:
101
(Source: National Center for Education Statistics)
Rank of eye strain, back pain and neck pain among most common complaints people have about sitting for long periods at a computer:
#1, #2, #3
(Source: Harris Interactive survey)
Temperature the inner thigh of a turkey (and stuffing, if used) must reach to be deemed safe to eat, according to federal guidelines:
165 degrees
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Tuesday Words of Wisdom from the Right-wing Blogosphere:
Tea party people should work with the rest of the Republicans, they have to get along and not try to tell Republicans that they are all wrong. The Republican party has been around since Lincoln, if the tea party want everything their way, then form their own party, quit hijacking the Republican party.
---Commenter knbru at Breitbart.com
All together now: 1…2…3…
Yeah!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Saved!!!
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If you're traveling by
goat: smooth sailing!
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CHEERS to gettin' outta Dodge. Thanksgiving is looming like a 20-pound platter of mashed potatoes, and the airlines predict that 25 million travelers will scream, curse and smell kinda gamey between now and next Tuesday. (Planes "on all but the more obscure routes will likely be completely full," so prepare for lots of seat-back kicking.) Meanwhile
Triple-A also says slightly fewer of us will be on the roads compared to last year, with a little under 39 million expected to venture at least 50 miles from home. If you'll be among them, please be safe and practice proper driving etiquette: the right hand is for texting and the left hand is for flipping the bird.
CHEERS to dollars and cents (if not sense). Before our thoughts drift completely into turkeyland, here's a quick roundup of business headlines from around the business headline world:
• Homebuilder confidence holds steady this month
• Pending Home Sales Take a Quick Turn South
• Confirmed: Apple buys 3-D tech company PrimeSense
• Wal-Mart replaces CEO with company insider
• Consumer prices dip, powered by cheap gas
• Nuclear deal with Iran may drive oil prices lower
• Maine cranberry growers say it’s hard to stay out of the red
• Americans not willing to spend without deals
• Microsoft Xbox One sales top one million on first day
• PlayStation 4 Poised to Outsell Xbox One
Oh, and as flawed as Bolivia may be, its president just
gave 300,000 public-sector employees a double bonus because he wants to reduce poverty and more equally distribute the wealth there. What a concept.
CHEERS to gratitudinalizin'. On November 26, 1789 A national Day of Publick Thanksgivin---calling for "sincere and humble thanks" for the adoption of our Constitution---was observed in the United States as approved by Congress and drawn up formally by President George "Honest Abe" Washington. Everybody bowed their heads and expressed their gratitude for the greatest miracle of all: Congress actually approved something.
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. CNN asks: Iran reaches nuclear deal with world leaders---now what?
Dessert.
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
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CHEERS to ending the stomach growlies. This is rather jaw-dropping: A U.N. official says he knows how to eradicate hunger in Africa within 12 years. Great. That would be awesome. And when he's done, maybe he can come over here and do it for us.
CHEERS to today's friendly reminder. Brought to you by.....
Only 28 shopping days 'til The Holiday.
JEERS to caging our planet-mates. On November 26, 1716 the first African lion was put on exhibition in Boston. The notes of the first reporter who covered the event read: "This magnificent beast certainly seems friendly enough and perfectly harmlesghfjbvhasduighghh…nn n" There may have been more, but that's the only part of the notepad the lion pooped out the next day. Plus the pencil. And a hat.
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Five years ago in C&J: November 26, 2008
JEERS to disappointing moves. Look, we know Obama doesn’t make decisions without gathering the facts and weighing his options carefully. So there must be a good reason for him to be keeping Robert Gates on as Secretary of Defense. Our guess: Mrs. Gates bakes a mean batch of peanut butter cookies.
CHEERS to beating the beast. Great news on the medical front: thanks to advances in both treatment and prevention, the incidence of cancer has dropped in ten out of the top fifteen most common types. Experts say they expect that number to rise to eleven on January 20th.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to strength in numbers…with snazzy-lookin' ties! Nice story out of Bridgewater, Massachusetts, where the fifth-grade football team's first-grade water boy was getting picked on by some classmates because he has a speech disability. Turns out Danny Keefe has quite the posse of supporters, who found a creative way to push back:
Bully for them.
Have a nice Tuesday. Don’t forget to round up an item or two for the Netroots Nation Holiday Bazaar online auction. (I think it's the law.) Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Most parents know how important it is to teach kids about Cheers and Jeers. There was a study many years ago questioning how to predict business success later in life. The answer to the study was the age you started reading your first C and J impacted how successful you were later in life."
---Warren Buffett
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