With Congressional job approval hovering at a pathetic 13%, our illustrious legislators are ready to sink to the next level with a planned in-your-face filibuster. As a result, many Americans are enduring taxation without representation as their legislators contort themselves into balloon-animal shapes to avoid the possibility of having to vote on anything whatsoever.
Documenting the many failures of our Senators and Congresscritters could result in a serious case of carpal tunnel syndrome (thankfully covered by Obamacare). Therefore, I've condensed their shortcomings into a handy alphabetical list, to which you are welcome to add your own contributions, poetical or otherwise. After all, it takes a village to keep track of this much idiocy.
A for America! In God they trust!
(They also love gluttony, envy, and lust)
B, bought and paid for, these corporate shills
They're only advancing their puppeteers' bills
C is for cowards who leave town each week
To hide in their mansions so lavish and chic
D for the deficit; their favorite con
To stop the recovery we might be on
E, economics: it's not all that tough
Paul Krugman's the only one calling their bluff
F, filibuster, to block any vote
Long hours of drivel they speak in full throat
G, global warming: the hot air they add
Makes climate change problems especially bad
H, homophobic, until their kid's gay
Then they're for gay marriage, the very next day
I is for ignorance: no science, please!
No research for cures for a deadly disease!
J is for junkets to some far-off land
With lobbyist friends who have each detail planned
K is for K Street, their next paying gig
Revolving door politics: profits are big!
L for their limos (but you take the bus)
They're important people, not losers like us
M for militias, who have every right
To big assault rifles to shoot up the night
N is for Newtown; how soon they forget!
The NRA knows that they'll aid and abet
O for Obama; obstruct him they must
While jobs, food, and healthcare cannot be discussed
P is for pledges to fight any tax
They pray to St. Grover with hunched, spineless backs
Q for each quarter that profits roll in
From insider trading (that must be a sin!)
R, re-election, their singular goal
A nice cushy job in exchange for their soul
S is for shameless as gun victims fall
The Senate and House will do nothing at all
T for the talk shows where each Sunday morn
They prove why they're worthy of hatred and scorn
U, unemployment, it worries them not
Because they're employed (and they make quite a lot!)
V for the voters whose trust they abuse
They won't last a day in a working man's shoes
W is for wealth they amass at their jobs
While laughing at all those poor unemployed slobs
X for the X they won't sign in that space
For fear of a primary challenge next race
Y, yesterday, where they long to return
The lessons of history, they'll never learn
Z is for zero respect they should get
(Or negative numbers - that's next, I would bet!)
I'm sure I've forgotten a crime or a sin
So that, gentle reader, is where you come in
Please add your own thoughts to this sad little list
Of some peccadillo that I might have missed.