There is so much gold in this
Wall Street Journal article about Mitt Romney's future plans that
I am already giddy with anticipation:
Restless, a little wistful and sharply critical of President Barack Obama's second term, Mr. Romney said in an interview that he plans to re-emerge in ways that will "help shape national priorities."
His first priority is apparently going to be selling Utah timeshares—I mean, bringing his friends together for a few days of privately talking about
stuff. Then it will be on to Having Opinions In Public.
As a first step, the former Republican presidential nominee plans to welcome 200 friends and supporters to a three-day summit next week that he will host at a Utah mountain resort.
He is considering writing a book and a series of opinion pieces, and has plans to campaign for 2014 candidates.
The
WSJ report says the Utah Friends o' Romney Summit and Failure Emporium will be "splashy, expensive, and closed to outsiders and the press," which makes it sound a bit like either a Roman orgy or a Gatsby shindig. I look forward to hearing nothing of substance about it. (If you don't think Mitt's team will be confiscating everything that even
looks like a camera and throwing them all into the fires of Mt. Doom before the event begins, oh my—you and I may have a wager to make. I'm not sure they'll allow
pencils.)
But don't even tempt us with the possibility of a Mitt Romney book tour. No. Watching Mitt Romney do the talk show rounds to promote a hip new policy prescription for America would be too fine a thing to ask for. Mitt's already offering great, great advice—like how the GOP needs to "translate our message in a way that minorities understand." (These new efforts to "translate" their message to minorities so far seem to be based on the usual way people attempt to communicate with ethnic people who don't seem to understand them: Say the same thing, but talk LOUDER.)
His Utah event, though, really shows just how much ol' Mitt has his finger on the pulse of Regular Guy America:
The retreat will offer some unusual extracurriculars: Skeet shooting with Mr. Ryan; golfing with Mr. Paul; horseback riding with Mitt and Ann Romney; hiking with Hewlett-Packard CEO Meg Whitman.
Oh dear Lord, thank you for this sweet bounty. "Hiking with Meg Whitman" should be the title of Mitt's book. Just throwing that out there.