I refer you to this Diary for an excellent treatise on the hidden value of a certain household product.
Useful as that is, and in the spirit of saving both the planet and the supermarkets, the latter from the need to devote so much shelf space to so little of any real value, I can offer you a viable alternative.
So here, and for one night only, I give you "The Handier Household Help":
If you have any trouble with the video, reload it. It should be just ove 5 minutes in length.
Lyrics:
THE HANDIER HOUSEHOLD HELP
(Fred Wedlock)
For the Handier Household Help, let's hear a roll upon the drum.
It's the answer to your problems. It will solve them every one.
It's universally popular in colleges and homes
For removing excess pubic hair and mending concrete gnomes.
And you can bung it down the toilet. You can spread it down your halls.
You can buy it in pint canisters for putting on your banisters.
CHORUS: It's only six and fourpence from your local hardware store.
It's a handier household help than you have ever had before.
Now Mr Brown went fishing for to try and catch a trout,
But though he stood for hours and hours, it seemed his luck was out.
He tried some Handier Household Help. He quickly changed the scene.
He caught mermaids, the Titanic and a nuclear submarine.
And it removes the stains from carpet, the blemishes from glass,
Keeps your radio free from static. It will fumigate your attic. CHORUS
Now Miss Brown was most impressed 'cos she didn't have much figure.
She rubbed her bust with Household Help to try to make it bigger.
[The bust drove Miss Brown's boss berserk as she sat on his knee.]
Now her figure's getting bigger where it didn't ought to be.
And it will insulate your kitchen if you spread it nice and thick.
It will grant your fondest wishes and get egg-stains off your dishes. CHORUS
Now Mrs Jones complained to us her sheets was always grey.
We recommended Household Help to drive the stains away.
She dropped some in her husband's beer about a week ago.
Now poor Mrs Jones is a widow, but her sheets are white as snow.
And it will reproduce a picture upside down or back to front.
It will clean the streets of Dunstable or renovate a constable. CHORUS
Fred Wedlock is a UK Folk Singer and songwriter from the West Country. I first met him, and heard his music while in college, now so many years ago. Some things never date and many of his best songs are available both on YouTube, and on his website.
I have no connection with him other than as a devoted fan :)
Sadly, Fred died in 2010.