Don't shit where you eat.
GOP: Shit where someone else eats.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
GOP: Do unto others before they do unto you.
We hate those whom we wrong.
GOP: Hate everyone, and everything you can possibly do will either be justice or charity.
Compassion is the basis of morality.
GOP: Demanding more compassion than you give is the basis of moral profit.
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.
GOP: Perfection is the state of eradicating all minds that see imperfection in you.
Love thy neighbor as thyself.
GOP: Foreclose thy neighbor's house and thou will be thine own neighbor.
Virtue is its own reward.
GOP: Serving me is its own reward for my employees.
Tell the truth, and you won't have to remember your words.
GOP: Tell so many lies that nobody can keep track of them.
Love of money is the root of all evil.
GOP: Taxation of me is the root of all evil.
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
GOP: Laws are for people too lazy to be born with lawyers on retainer.
Property is theft.
GOP: Theft is property.
2 + 2 = 4
GOP: 1 gun + 10 bullets in the magazine pointed at your head = shut the fuck up.