In the early 70's there was a television drama named McCloud. The starring role was played by Dennis Weaver, who was a New Mexico lawman and had been reassigned to work with the New York City police department. Even though he was totally out of his element, his true core always shined through. To me it was a cop show with a conscience. It was on this program that I first heard someone (an old Indian chief) explain that
Everyone does what he can.
. I found the statement profound at the time and I find it just as applicable today.
I have always had a contentious relationship with my dad. While growing up (and even today) it seemed that he had little interest in my life, who I am, or anything else about me. At age 64 it still affects me. I find myself thinking about it a lot. Still, I have to remember that everyone does what he can. I can wish it otherwise all I want, but that does not change the facts. And who pays the price if I forget that fact or spend my time wishing and hoping that things might change? Certainly not my dad; he is oblivious. I am the one who pays the price for non-acceptance as it eats me up.
In another example, I have a friend who eats every meal out. He lives in the country and drives a half-hour multiple times a day to buy a fast-food meal. This seems crazy to me; cooking is not that difficult. But I have asked him about it and he says he just plain doesn't like to cook or clean up the mess. What the hell? Does he he think that those of us who cook do it because we like it? Maybe some do, but not around our house. Here, we do it because putting in the work is preferable to paying high prices for crappy flavorless food pumped full of poisonous chemicals. I grow as much of my own food as I can and we cook every meal ourselves so that we know what is in it. Do I consider him nuts? Maybe I do sometimes, but I always have to consider than everyone does what he can. Who am I to judge?
I once worked for one of the large US aerospace companies. I worked on the Space Shuttle program, not defense, But even in that part of the aerospace business most of the people I worked with were rabid right-wingers. I can still remember management using the PA system to advise us to vote for Ronald Reagan if we wanted to keep our jobs. I still keep in touch with some of the people there and they still send me a steady flow of right-wing crapola that sets me off every time I read it. I got one this morning that called Thomas Sowell "the new Will Rogers". How can these guys believe this stuff; are they that out of touch, just plain crazy, or maybe just total assholes?
I have terminated some of the personal relationships through the years over these things thinking that I can no longer remain friends with someone who has so little conscience. But I always have to come back to the fact that everyone does what he can. I can wish they would wise up all I want and it seldom changes anything and if I don't accept the facts, I am always the one who pays the price.
Some may see this attitude as a cop out, as a way of letting assholes off the hook. They say "never give them such as excuse". But in this world I have found that it is all too easy to let the bastards get me down. So for my own self preservation, I have to consider that everyone does what he can and so do I. It's what gets me through the day.