VOICEOVER: We all know the benefits of fracking. But residents of fracking-affected Bradford County, Pennsylvania, say it also has some minor downsides.
WOMAN #1: Fracking has ruined our quality of life.
MAN #1: Our water contamination here is moving through all Bradford County.
WOMAN #2: Every day there's something new that happens.
WOMAN #3: I had rashes, neurological problems, sleep disruption.
WOMAN #4: Cows had nosebleeds.
AASIF MANDVI: Maybe your cows are doing cocaine.
WOMAN #4: I never caught them doing cocaine.
VOICEOVER: Really? Well Marita Noon from Energy Makes America Great doesn't see a problem with fracking.
MARITA NOON: Fracking is safe. Because the average person doesn't understand fracking, the environmentalists are able to use fear, uncertainty, and doubt to plant ideas into peoples' minds. And they don't do the research for themselves.
You need a tissue.
AASIF MANDVI: Yeah.
VOICEOVER: But the gas companies have done the research, along with plenty of investigations into the residents' complaints.
WOMAN #2: If I polluted my neighbor's well, do you think that the DEP would allow me to conduct my own investigation and get back to them on it?
AASIF MANDVI: If your water's contaminated, why not just go to the local store and get yourselves some Evian?
WOMAN #4: I've done that. The stores don't have water on the shelves.
WOMAN #2: I'd suggest you live here for a month, and see how you feel when we live out of bottled [water].
AASIF MANDVI: Are you hitting on me?
WOMAN #2: No, not at all.
AASIF MANDVI: It sounds like you're hitting on me.
WOMAN #2: Nope, that's not what I meant.
AASIF MANDVI: You're sending mixed messages, young lady.
WOMAN #2: Hm.
AASIF MANDVI: I see what's going on here.
WOMAN #2: Hm.
AASIF MANDVI: Oh yeah. Fracking.
VOICEOVER: But Noon says the last thing oil and gas companies need are pesky regulations.
MARITA NOON: Oil and gas companies are quite good at self-regulating or self-policing. Because when there are bad actors, it hurts everybody.
AASIF MANDVI: Is there a way oil and gas companies could be better than they are?
MARITA NOON: I would say no, actually. These oil and gas producers that are there care about the community.
VOICEOVER: See? They care about their communities. And there's no way they could be better corporate citizens. Despite one or two teeny tiny snafus.
FOX NEWS: A drilling crew punctured the pipeline located south of Dallas.
SCOTT PELLEY: A dozen small earthquakes over the past few years were an indirect result of fracking.
GOOD MORNING AMERICA: An explosion at the Chevron oil refinery in Pascagoula, Mississippi.
MAN #2: If a well explodes, the company should at least alert the landowner.
AASIF MANDVI: What is more direct than the smoke signal and the smell of sulfur?
MAN #1: The oil and gas industry is not being responsible to the people around here.
VOICEOVER: Actually, they couldn't be more responsible. Like when a gas well exploded in Greene County, Pennsylvania, Chevron came to the rescue with immediate compensation.
PIZZA GUY #1: Chevron come in, they ordered 100 pizzas, 100 bottles of pop.
AASIF MANDVI: Wait, pizza? They bought pizzas?
PIZZA GUY #1: Yes.
AASIF MANDVI: There was a fire, a person died, and Chevron compensated people with pizzas.
PIZZA GUY #2: I mean, they gave gift certificates out to the community.
AASIF MANDVI: And so how much does that come to altogether?
PIZZA GUY #1: Right around $1,000 dollars.
AASIF MANDVI: $1,000 bucks a pizza?
PIZZA GUY #1: No, $1,000 dollars for the 100 bottles of pop and 100 pizzas.
AASIF MANDVI: Wait, $1,000 total?
PIZZA GUY #2: Yes.
VOICEOVER: So Chevron bought 100 gift certificates good for just one pizza, with just one topping, which expires May 1, 2014.
Thank goodness Greene County's first responders were able to handle the demand.
AASIF MANDVI: So your heroes.
PIZZA GUY #1: I wouldn't say that.
AASIF MANDVI: No, I mean, your heroes. How are they?
PIZZA GUY #1: You talkin' about subs?
AASIF MANDVI: Yeah.
PIZZA GUY #1: Our sandwiches are good.
VOICEOVER: I couldn't wait to deliver this disaster contingency plan to the residents of Bradford County.
MAN #1: You have politicians getting campaign funds from these people.
WOMAN #4: They are taking our property, they are mortgaging the subsurface.
AASIF MANDVI: OK, everybody calm down. You guys are getting really upset.
WOMAN #4: If your daughter could die from this, wouldn't you be upset?
AASIF MANDVI: All right, all right, OK.
WOMAN #2: If your largest investment loses property value overnight....
AASIF MANDVI: All right, OK.
WOMAN #1: You can't cook and clean for your family.
WOMAN #4: Talk about business, you lose business.
AASIF MANDVI: OK, all right, everyone calm down, OK? It sounds like you're hungry. I know just the trick. Pizza! Eh? Who likes pizza?
WOMAN #4: We want our water back. Period. We want our lives back. We don't want your pizza!
AASIF MANDVI: All right. I'm going to throw in a 2-liter bottle of soda.
MAN #2: How about a DEP investigation?
WOMAN #3: Yeah.
AASIF MANDVI: OK, look regulatory reform is going to take forever. Pizza, 30 minutes or less.
MAN #1: We cannot live without water. I mean, we have water pollution, we have air....
AASIF MANDVI: What were you saying? Keep going.
MAN #1: It's not too bad.
AASIF MANDVI: It's good, right?
See, America? The solution is as easy as pie.
Jon also covered the news about the Princeton mom who's telling young women to "
Meanwhile, Stephen followed the trend of news shows employing new tricks to try to attract millennials to watch their shows, with a special guest.
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