To Whom It May Concern:
(most of all, to those on my Facebook friends list who were happy to find out the cop may have been black, as if it was relevant!)
Rejoice closet racist white suburbanites, your wishes have been granted, and we can now claim that Michael Brown was a thug gangster clearly deserving of the fate that befell him at the hands of a gloriously heroic white knight keeping them other folks back from your precious goods.
Fear not, you will not have to make the hard decisions or consider the deeper societal implications of how militarized the police forces have become, because the suspect was clearly somebody to instill fear in the hearts of every one of you.
Go back to your trimmed golf courses, cuban cigars, lazy boy recliners, Fox News, Duck Dynasty, and suburban Neighborhood Watches.
Nothing to see here, just another "hood rat" exterminated by the prevailing powers that be, ensuring you're lawns are safe from intrusion!
It's obvious now that we should pursue justice for the upstanding citizen who so bravely acted in society's best interests by removing another thieving young rapscallion from the planet.
I'm sure his bretheren will think twice about acting tough now!
Moreso, we'll ensure these people stay over there, and not in our schools, since clearly all those schools are full of others just like him, and the neighborhoods to!
But, just to be sure, let's make sure our guns are loaded and ready, in case one of them breaks free again, terrorizing our precious commerce areas, while we're at it, let's make sure everyone else like him in the US realizes what happens to people like him when they get of line, shall we?
Curfews can't come soon enough, these people need order and control, otherwise they turn violently chaotic, and we just can't have that happening!
The animals need to be caged in the zoo, my brothers!
If I've learned anything over the last 96 hours, it's that the only solution to this situation is further containment.
Starting right now, I wish to propose we create a ginormous wall around these parts of the city, and revoke their citizenships now, since after all, I don't want them corrupting our children!
It's clear they can't handle themselves, and will only cause more harm than good.
No, my fellow Americans, my eyes have been opened, my mind is clear, my ears full of your voices, now we must act!
Contain the vermin now before the outbreak starts to unsettle our well designed institutions!
Our grandfathers fought all over the planet to protect our freedoms to persecute, and gosh darnit, I refuse to let them die in vain!
Harken ourselves to our vehicles, let us not forget the actions of the last few days, it's clear that the time for talk is over!
Those people just want to take everything we've worked generations to secure for ourselves!
We should cut them off the knees.
And if you think the above is anything more than an attempt to point out the hypocrisy inherent in you all, than please, delete yourself now and save me the troubles.