Customer reviews at Amazon.com are often useful in deciding whether to purchase a product. But sometimes they're even more useful in providing entertainment, whether because of an exceptionally stupid product, or because a perfectly innocent item happened to be for sale when a politician made a doltish remark about "binders full of women."
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There's really nothing wrong with the horse head mask, it's just too easy to post comments like these:
Does not fit completely over the horse's face.
It is day 87 and the horses have accepted me as one of their own. I have grown to understand and respect their gentle ways.
On the other hand, whoever came up with the
banana slicer totally deserved these:
Once I figured out I had to peel the banana before using - it works much better.
Ordering one for my nephew who's in the air force in California. He's been using an old slinky to slice his banana's.
No more throwing bananas at the ceiling fan for me! This product has saved me the work of peeling the banana slices off the wall after the fan slices them. Thanks, banana slicer!
For decades I have been trying to come up with an ideal way to slice a banana. "Use a knife!" they say. Well...my parole officer won't allow me to be around knives. "Shoot it with a gun!" Background check...HELLO! I had to resort to carefully attempt to slice those bananas with my bare hands. 99.9% of the time, I would get so frustrated that I just ended up squishing the fruit in my hands and throwing it against the wall in anger. Then, after a fit of banana-induced rage, my parole officer introduced me to this kitchen marvel and my life was changed.
And the
tray for snacks or laptop computer that attaches to your steering wheel:
It may not hold my beer quite right, but I can still drive like I'm drunk with this beauty. Why keep my eyes on the road, when I have a fascinating game of Candy Crush on my tablet, commanding my undivided attention? I have a market report due to the boss by noon? No problem! I'm going to drive the kids to school, run some errands, and go through the McDonald's drive-thru, and STILL get that report in on time - without ever leaving my car or watching where I am going! A dream!
I do think, however, the price is a bit steep. I could use that $17.99 back to pay some of my court and lawyer fees after that unfortunate accident near the mall last month....
Then of course there are
binders:
While this is a lovely, multi-purpose binder, IT DOES NOT COME WITH WOMEN. Presumably one is expected to find women on one's own, or contact women's groups who are supposedly eager to help stock your empty binder with women.
I was originally going to rate this only 1 star. You see, I'm a big girl and I can only squeeze about 53% of myself into this binder. But then I decided that I'm not going to worry about the other 47%.
Maybe it's just my women, but they don't seem to want to fit into the space I've designated for them in this binder. They keep sticking out over the edges, even getting away in some cases. I thought using clear, glass-ceiling page protectors would help, but it doesn't seem to slow them down anymore.
I'm going to have to resort to more severe three-hole punching, to keep my women in line. And maybe switch to the Trap Her, Keep Her.
Speaking of products with weird gender associations, who on earth came up with the idea of taking an ordinary pen, packaging it in lavender and pink, and
charging more because it's "for her"?
Someone has answered my gentle prayers and FINALLY designed a pen that I can use all month long! I use it when I'm swimming, riding a horse, walking on the beach and doing yoga. It's comfortable, leak-proof, non-slip and it makes me feel so feminine and pretty! Since I've begun using these pens, men have found me more attractive and approchable. It has given me soft skin and manageable hair and it has really given me the self-esteem I needed to start a book club and flirt with the bag-boy at my local market. My drawings of kittens and ponies have improved, and now that I'm writing my last name hyphenated with the Robert Pattinson's last name, I really believe he may some day marry me! I'm positively giddy. Those smart men in marketing have come up with a pen that my lady parts can really identify with.
I used one of these pens post-hysterectomy, and my uterus grew back.
if you are going to make a pen for her, please refrain from calling it a ball pen. we're confused enough.
I can't find a switch to turn it on, and it didn't come with batteries. This is not the "for her" product I was expecting. At all.
And if you're looking for book reviews, I recommend anything by
General J.C. Christian. Here he is on Jerome Corsi's book
Where's the Birth Certificate:
Building on forensic research conducted by Orly Taitz, Law Dentist, Mr. Corsi proves beyond doubt that Obama: (A) is unheartlandishly hued; (B) has a foreign sounding name; and, (C) replaced the staff of the Hawaii Department of Vital Statistics with a dozen malevolent, fist-bumping, dashiki-wearing, document-forging robots and an old Mexican guy who sits at the reception desk and answers phones.
On to Top Comments!
From Puddytat:
In a Top Comments diary about buying expensive and very specific school supplies, lotac remembers the Good Old Days buying school supplies
and then Brillig adds an apt and funny reply.
From
your humble (if antisocial) diarist:
Lone1c flagged this comment by 4CasandChlo in librarisinginsf's diary Pastor Mark Driscoll calls women "penis homes;" his megachurch begins closing branches.
In Joan McCarter's diary Missouri lawmaker wants courts to keep his adult daughters off birth control, Hushes boils the story down to the essentials.
Top Mojo, courtesy of mik:
1) As Anne Lamott has said, by Cali Scribe — 154
2) Right on! by Jen Hayden — 151
3) Great choices all! by Vita Brevis — 138
4) It's more of a cult... by JeffW — 134
5) Let the hazing begin by Dante Atkins — 117
6) Every day your face doesn't turn to jello by Crashing Vor — 117
7) What a nice step-up. by DRo — 115
8) They just don't give a fuck. by skillet — 112
9) Okay if I say, "Fuck him?" by Crashing Vor — 111
10) Don't hold back, Crash! by JeffW — 105
11) Good diary. We know about this from by Bob Love — 96
12) It's more of a vacation place, I think. nt by roycej — 96
13) disgusting. by rexymeteorite — 96
14) You Misspelled by TooFolkGR — 94
15) Wonderful! by Pluto — 94
16) An Idea of Jefferson's Predating the Constitution. by Gooserock — 83
17) heh by Karl Rover — 80
18) Thanks for sharing. by AkaEnragedGoddess — 77
19) I love Vyan by Bendygirl — 75
20) As I recall by Hastur — 74
21) Kossacks meeting afterward for a drink to discuss by navajo — 74
22) So the hand looks like a home but it is not--- and by concernedamerican — 74
23) :::facepalm::: by Marjmar — 71
24) When I left my abusive husband, I had to move by AnnieR — 70
25) I had a woman poster today argue with me by weezilgirl — 69
26) Let me be the first one to say... by Trix — 68
27) No surprise that these are all among my favorite by Jon Sitzman — 67
28) Great choices, Markos n/t by PsychoSavannah — 66
29) He has a defense by Lib Dem FoP — 66
30) Disgusting post. by TomP — 66
Photo quilt, courtesy of jotter: