But let me act like one, and tell you a bunch of "unproven stuff" anyways.
I am Not a Republican, but you should listen to me anyways: "Republicans have your 'best interests' in mind."
I am Not a Republican, but pretend like I'm an economic expert anyways: "Republicans are all about creating Jobs -- unless that costs money, or means actual Jobs HERE in America."
I am Not a Republican -- who knows everything -- BUT that doesn't matter: "ONLY Republicans will protect you from those 'crazy scientists' whose hidden Agenda is to raise your Taxes." (... and corrupt your children with knowledge and facts and stuff.)
I am Not a Scientist -- BUT that doesn't matter -- Let me tell you all about 'Republican Science' anyways:
#NotAScientist -- The GOP on Climate Change:
link
[...]
Jeremy Funk, a spokesman for Americans United for Change, said in a statement, “The GOP’s new talking point when challenged on climate change is ‘I’m no scientist,’ and yet they remain 100% certain … that 97% of the scientific community is pulling a fast one on us all for no explicable reason.”
Progressive group calls out GOP climate change deniers in video
by Nick Ramsey, msnbc.com -- 06/05/2014
As that I'm-Not-A-Scientist Video concludes:
97% of Scientists agree ...
as do 7 out of 10 Americans:
Man-made Climate Change is Real
and needs to be dealt with.
NOW ... I'm Not a Republican,
but you should listen to me anyways: "Republicans have your 'best interests' in mind." (... and they never lie or distort facts and stuff.)
AND they would NEVER have you read this latest report -- BECAUSE it was written by those money-grubbing Scientists. (... and because it “overwhelmingly showed that human-caused climate change is having an influence” weather patterns around the world. Hah! says who?)
Besides, IF I was a Republican -- I would ALREADY know everything -- SO why in the world would I have to read yet-another Scientific Report?
-- My Republican-brain is ALREADY Full! ... Duh!