As the middle class falls into the lower class because of bad politics, corporate corruption, and greedy rich people, those of us left in the wake are in BIG trouble. There isn't a plan for constructive change and that is the most disturbing part of all. Band-aids of a little extra money in a tax refund (which is nice but not enough) aren't changing our future. It is not even repairing our past. It helps us "survive" a few more days.
For the past 9 years I've been trying to raise my 4 children as a single parent. An ugly divorce, through no fault of my own, didn't help, but it seems like a lifetime ago and I don't like dwelling in the past. I've got a couple college degrees and that is supposed to have been the ANSWER. Just educate yourself and you will be fine. Actually, that didn't work. What I have are large student loans that keep accruing interest which makes them forever impossible to pay. My only solace about that issue is that my children won't inherit that debt when I die. I'm swimming up-stream every single day. This part-time job isn't enough to support us. (See my first post for my employer's role in this predicament.) I lost count of the number of job for which I have applied. The few responses have been for jobs that pay close to minimum wage (one almost $10 a hour but I didn't get it) and it wouldn't allow me to leave at a specific time if there was work left - or customers - so my kids wouldn't even have a dependable mother. Another menial job. I drift in and out of the job search as I get depressed from apply for jobs (spending hours and days at a time), getting very few responses, and then falling into depression over what looks like the inevitable future of life-long poverty. Hillary Clinton recently commented that she and hubby were broke. We have two different views of broke. She can give you her view. My view goes like this: I have $11 left in my checking account, I haven't paid my electric or water bill from last month (no money), there are two weeks left until payday and we have food for about 3 days, my credit card is maxed out (most of it buying food and paying utilities), and I feel like an absolutely disgusting parent because I keep telling my kids to stop eating. I can't go back to the food bank for another 2 1/2 weeks and, believe me, no matter how sweet those old ladies are, that is a degrading experience. I applied for food stamps and receive $12 a month - more degradation. My children wear flip-flops all year because I can't afford real shoes - lucky winter is only 2-3 months. They wear socks with them in the cold. I'm wearing 12 year old pants to work because I can't afford clothes even at the Goodwill store. I've warned my kids for the second year in a row that there isn't going to be a Christmas. I charged a few cheap Christmas presents three years ago and that was a mistake for which we are still paying. We eat crappy food - hotdogs on sale, noodles, rice and beans - over and over. There aren't cookies in my house. We never drink soda. I don't own a cell phone. We just did an inventory of what we have left to eat and I haven't been able to stop crying because...it will soon be gone and $11 won't close the gap. I'm exhausted from the emotionally hostile work environment and living like this every day. I know my blood pressure is bad (but I fall in the Obamacare crack and can't get insurance - because we live below the poverty level and I can't afford the $400 a month) and the governor of my fair state won't let me have Medicaid (from a man with great insurance). We flush the toilet every 3 to 4 pees to save money. Yes, it is disgusting but essential. I wake up in the middle of the night in a panic knowing that we could become homeless in the near future. Not sleeping at night and being exhausted in the day are making me - a bad mother and employee. The cost of living in poverty - it is hard to explain it to someone who hasn't been there. I had a middle class life a few years ago. I didn't worry about bills or birthdays or clothes - because there was money. I didn't own a mink coat or drive a BMW - just a modest and happy life. By the way, my van is 14 years old and there is something wrong with it again - which is where my past 5 years of income tax refund checks have gone - I only hope it will not die before March of next year when I get my refund. I only use the van to go to work, for groceries - and religious services - because I don't have enough gas to do anything else. I can't walk to work as it is too far and there is no bus that goes there. Dare I speak of the lack of Kotex? My kids have heard my speech on non-essential toilet paper usage - too many times. This is horrid. Well meaning people say that things will get better. Really? I can't even take a deep breath. What is there to hope for?
Fri Oct 24, 2014 at 11:07 PM PT: Wow - I didn't realize when I bared my soul about how difficult it is to be a single mother living in poverty that some person would accuse me of lying or insinuate that I had done something to cause the misery. I think when you don't know someone who is poor that it is probably hard to believe how difficult life can be. Thank you to so many for the kind words and thoughts and helpful suggestions. I have tried some of these ideas. Unfortunately, moving isn't reasonable due to the costs. When I start feeling really sorry for myself, I get up and do something for someone else. After I wrote this article I took my kids down to the senior widow neighbor's house and we raked her leaves. I felt better when we got back and my kids had an opportunity - to be better people. God bless you all.