`entre mas viejo, mas pendejo` historically means in English among all Hispanics as I remember the phrase, that `the older one gets, the more stupid he becomes.
And a `very viejo` I am. But despite my old age I cannot remember ever learning or knowing how, why and when this particular phrase was coined by my elders or the people I refere to as my own kind of folks. I have always thought of that phrase whenever I see or know that some old folk has stepped in a pile of shit, or done something stupid.
Yesterday I wrote a pile of shit and I knew it the moment I clicked the publisher`s button. I have been hanging around this website for a while to know and to have expected the response that followed. Now I come to admit that the phrase I use here is true as it applies to me.
This community adopted me several years ago and since then I have considered it my family. Yesterday I disrespected not only my family here but President Obama to boot. As controversial of person that I am, both in my writings and in person, today I come to admit that I need to make amends with the community and submit a very personal apology to not only those I offended with my diary, but with myself as well.
Because I am ashamed of myself. My elders also taught that it took a man to admit his mistakes. But not only that but to correct those mistakes by making amends. This lesson applies to me as well.
I waited until this morning to read the comment section of my diary. What I found does not surprise me. Whatever I found is not an issue or in dispute within this apology.
I do not even blame anyone who attacked the messenger in attempts to make a point. I think it was rightfully deserving because for once, as I recall, I just lost it based on an issue that does not even applies to me - fu*king immigration.
I have kind thoughts to some who sounded in their comment as if they were sympathetic
and watching my back by saying Ole Texan was a diarist with good standing in the community. To those kossacks, thank you.
I say this because obviously they know by having read my writings that I have never before crossed the line I admit I crossed yesterday. But please make no mistake. I am not using `mas viejo` as an excuse to say my age made me do it. Like many of us here I think more specifically, that frustration so near to these coming mid -term elections made me do it.
So much garbage is being written and hollered over the airwaves that if you are one of those folks who listen, that garbage will stick on you - as it obviously stuck on me. Yet this, even this, does not justify my mistake.
So I will say it again. I am sorry.
The Ole Texan you read yesterday is not who I am as a person - or a kossack. In all the years I have been here, `one`, one fu*king hide rating was on my record from years back. This time around, you guys really socked it to me. It appears that even my diary was added to a site where it will live in infamy.
A lesson I will pass on down to my younger readers and followers.