“When You Retire” (October 2013)
When you retire you can go shopping on a Tuesday morning or Wednesday afternoon or anytime you want and you aren't likely to run into your neighbors or a stranger's shopping cart.
When you retire you can drop off your prescription at the drugstore and wait the fifteens minutes for it to be filled.
When you retire you don't have to shave every morning; you can experiment with your face.
When you retire you can try on as many pair of sneakers that you want to before pulling the trigger ... or not.
When you retire you can sleep in, get up early or not sleep at all.
When you retire you can catch up with the entire series of Breaking Bad, The Wire or Project Runway and no one will ever know.
When you retire you can sit at your kitchen table and struggle with your bills.
When you retire you can re tire, get that elusive brake job and oil change.
When you retire you can wrestle with such questions as whether to use an emoticon in an email.
You could yak about on Facebook.
You could start tweeting.
When you retire you can lunch or coffee with your retired friends.
You can nap, sit on a park bench for hours, feed the birds at Lake Merritt.
You can bake cherry pies, chocolate chip cookies and apple/peach crisps.
When you retire you can volunteer anywhere you want.
When you retire you can visit your sick friends.
When you retire you can contemplate your pain and eagerly compare it with others.
When you retire you might think about the verities.
When you retire you can travel across the country and visit your daughter, son-in-law and grandson as many times as you dare.
If you're lucky when you retire you can travel to places you've never been before.
When you retire you can catch up with the news before it becomes the news.
You can read poetry, scan comic novellas, dip into magazines.
When you retire you can try a Colt 45; drop acid; smoke weed; and play for time.
When you retire you can hike the trails in Redwood Park; walk the Village trail; take aquatic aerobics.
You can get on your knees in the garden, fighting hand-to-hand combat with the squirrels, yell at the deer, and hope you can get up off your knees.
When you retire you can gaze at old family photos; searching out a history you didn't know.
When you retire you can spend hours listening to Terry Gross interview Billy Crystal, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, This American Life, and sports talk radio.
When you retire you can go back to whatever you were working on, if you're working on anything, anytime you want to.
When you retire you can do laundry more often, change your sheets regularly, keep the bathroom spotless, and revel in cleanliness being next to godliness.