On Wednesday night, Stephen Colbert looked at the GOP advantage in the 2014 midterms with a special guest.
And the bad news does not end there, because that same Washington Post/ABC News/Foot Locker poll found that 53% of voters "say they'd rather see the Republicans in control of Congress". That is great news. Because if the GOP takes both houses, they'll finally be able to advance their ideas, which should really motivate them to have an idea. (audience laughter)
Video and transcript below the fold.
Meanwhile, electorally back here in America, the midterm elections are upon us, and I could not be more mid-excited. I am half-pumped! Because the Democrats are going to get whipped like one of their beloved smoothies. Pineapple and mango blended together as one? I'm sorry, that is fruit sodomy! By the way, do not Google "fruit sodomy". (audience laughter)
And it's all thanks to the plummeting popularity of Barack Obama.
JON SCOTT (4/29/2014): President Obama's approval rating taking a nosedive.
WOLF BLITZER (4/29/2014): According to a new Washington Post/ABC News poll, the President's approval rating has hit a new low of 41%.
41%! That means he's only 35% more popular than Congress.
(audience laughter)
And the bad news does not end there, because that same Washington Post/ABC News/Foot Locker poll found that 53% of voters "say they'd rather see the Republicans in control of Congress". That is great news. Because if the GOP takes both houses, they'll finally be able to advance their ideas, which should really motivate them to have an idea. (audience laughter)
Now, another blow to the Donkey-crat hopes is that "just 23% of Americans between the ages of 18 and 29 say they will 'definitely be voting' in the November elections."
I don't know why, but for some reason college students aren't thrilled by the word "midterm". (audience laughter) And millennials tend to vote for Democrats, so their apathy makes me happy. Or as the youngsters say, #SaxophoneEmoji. (audience laughter)
Now with all this bad news, it's no surprise that Democrats are launching electoral Hail Marys all over the country. Case in point, North Carolina's 2nd Congressional District — the Fightin' 2nd! — which is currently represented by Republican Congresswoman and person in allergy ad Renee Ellmers.
(audience laughter)
Ellmers won her seat by campaigning on an issue so important to the northernmost part of her district, Manhattan.
RENEE ELLMERS (2010): The terrorists haven't won, and we should tell them in plain English, no. There will never be a mosque at Ground Zero. I'm Renee Ellmers, and I approved this ad.
Strong statement. Of course, that ad upset North Carolina's Muslim community, both of them.
(audience laughter)
But that's not Ellmers' only accomplishment. Last fall, she also voted to shut down the government. I mean, who can forget the message of hope she sent those federal workers that her vote laid off?
REP. RENEE ELLMERS, R-NC (10/3/2013): The thing of it is, is I need my paycheck. That's the bottom line. And I understand that maybe there are some other members who are, you know, deferring their paychecks and I think that's admirable. I'm not in that position.
Yes, she wasn't in that position, and neither were the workers. They were bending over and taking it. (audience laughter)
And if she weren't enough of a shoo-in already, get a load of who the Democrats are running against her.
CLAY AIKEN: I'm Clay Aiken, and you might wonder why I'm running for Congress.
(surprised audience laughter)
Yes, I do wonder why you're running. Is it because there hasn't been anyone in Congress with such golden pipes since Senator John Ashcroft?
JOHN ASHCROFT: ♫ Let the eagle soar, like she's never soared before.
That never fails to bring a tear to my eye. And for some reason, blood to my ears.
Now make no mistake, folks, I am an Aiken fan — or, Claymate. I voted for him through season 2. When he lost to Ruben Studdard, I was crushed. Almost as crushed as I was when they voted off that old lady.
(audience laughter)
But I cannot support Clay Aiken for Congress. Not only is he a Democrat, he is also a gay, which I only recently discovered were two separate things. (audience laughter)
And I cannot believe he's trying to get Renee Ellmers fired. Does he not know how badly she needs her paycheck? If he were on my show right now, I'd vote him off! Here to be kicked out of my studio, please welcome former American Almost-Idol, and candidate for North Carolina's 2nd District, Clay Aiken!
He also briefly noted that Bashir al-Assad is
running for re-election in Syria. He then looked at the right-wing's reaction to three lesbians in Massachusetts saying they want to all be married to each other in a "
throuple".
Then last night, Stephen looked at Bill O'Reilly's producer Jesse Watters and his ambush hit pieces, and decided to do one himself with his building manager Tad.
Stephen then mocked CNN's continuing coverage of the missing Malaysian airliner.
Meanwhile, on Wednesday night, Jon looked at some recent actual government scandals, like the horrid Veterans Affairs waiting list where 40 veterans were sent to basically die.
He then looked at the trouble around Rep. Michael Grimm (R-NY).
Then last night, Jon looked at Bill O'Reilly's harangue against Beyoncé with Jessica Williams.
He then covered the latest developments surrounding Toronto mayor Rob Ford.
On Wednesday, Stephen had on Audra McDonald, who performed "What a Little Moonlight Can Do" and "God Bless the Child", and then last night he had on Saul Williams, who performed "Amethyst Rocks". Last night, Jon had on comedian David Spade, and Martin Gilens and Benjamin Page on Wednesday, which went long. Here's their unedited interview in three parts.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3