This is something that's been crawling around in my head for the past couple of days since the News of the Week developed out in UCal-SB. I mean, I take a look at the main culprit and his sudden rise to infamy and realize that we actually have a lot in common. I mean, I've never dated anyone, never had a girlfriend (or boyfriend, to be inclusive), never kissed anyone, and all that sort of thing. Where we, I guess, differ is... I never got mad about it. I got depressed about it, sure. Slightly jealous on occasion. But mad? Nope. Who or what was I supposed to get mad at? The closest I ever got to an act of violence was me giving serious considerations to suicide, but that was regarding a tangential topic.
People would be surprised to find out that I never had a girlfriend. I, of course, would be surprised at their being surprised. Over the years, my reasons would change - then it was because I was well beyond shy, passive, and cautious; now it's because I have enough self-awareness to realize that me in a relationship would be a complete disaster. I'd have my fantasies about a nice love life (still do, though they've changed with added realizations that only make them more depressing), I'd occasionally spend nights emotionally drowning myself to love songs way back in the day, but not once did anything significant happen one way or the other. It helped place a few dents in the wreck that is my life, but I also dodged a few disasters.
The weird thing is, for whatever it's worth, the people I was at least moderately interested in having a relationship with are actually doing quite decent - a lot better off than I am, that's for sure.
And looking back and doing the comparisons... I could have been this guy! I certainly had enough reason to hate the world - so dateless to the point where I went alone to the prom (dodged a disaster there, in hindsight! LOL), a dead mother I was close to, a major relocation early in life (at the end of the 1st grade I moved from Munich back to Indianapolis), believing the things Rush Limbaugh told me about America...
All I can do now is wonder what the heck is (or isn't!) wrong with me...