There are moments during the day when I throw my hands skyward, toward the gods of satire, and plead, Please, please tell me this story is not true.
Alas, this is one such moment the gods have answered back emphatically, You're in America, you schmuck. Of course it's true.
Okay, so what just occurred? This: a local gun range fired an artillery shell from a historic howitzer that traveled three miles and damaged a local couple's home.
I can hear your incredulous head-shaking all the way from here, it's so vigorous. No, you're saying to yourself, this one can't possibly be real, even in our weapon-crazed country, can it?
You betcha. Here's the report from KOAM:
I just love how the gun range owner claims that the artillery shell was fired off in the safest of manners by trained professionals, and that this freak accident of a 14-inch-long shell traveling miles and piercing an elderly couple's home is just that: a freak accident.
Either that, or the intended effect of firing off artillery shells: the long-range destruction of pretty much anything.
How is this possibly legal? How is the discharging of howitzers in residential areas protected by the Second Amendment?
I eagerly await the NRA's trained PR staff to answer those questions in the comments. Thanks in advance!
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David Harris-Gershon is author of the memoir What Do You Buy the Children of the Terrorist Who Tried to Kill Your Wife?, recently published by Oneworld Publications.
Author's Note:
The original title identified the howitzer artillery shell as a 14-inch shell. While the shell is indeed 14 inches long, I've since learned that shells are technically classified by their width, which is 3.5 inches.
I've edited the title accordingly, and can't believe I've had to learn about the classification of artillery shells due to a story of howitzers being fired in residential areas.
Only in America.