We don't talk the way we used to. We fight about money and church, we argue about medicine and how to pay the doctor's bills. We can't talk about how we don't remember it being this hot in the summer when we were kids because of course one of us thinks it's exactly the same temperature in July as it's always been. We give each other grief over little things like whether or not it's ok to be friendly to the gay neighbors just for the sake of being friendly to people, to our fellow human beings. We don't get along when we talk about our beliefs. We don't in any way, shape, or form agree on how to raise the kids. Do we teach them about the merits and wonders of finding value in the data and logical conclusions we can draw from scientific observation, or do we teach them to believe in whatever they want to because, well, faith?
We just aren't happy anymore. Every day is a struggle just to look at each other without screaming. Every day is an argument over... Everything.
And I can't help but wonder... Is it time we got a divorce? And then I feel the guilt. Because I can't help but feel like maybe it really is time to move on.
I want to feel the love again. I really do. But when you reach out to your partner and say "Honey, I'd like to invite the neighbors over for dinner." and instead of a discussion you get lectured on the evils of associating with those horrible fags next door, it just isn't worth it to even ask.
It's mentally exhausting. It makes me physically tired. I am exasperated, despirited and completely disenchanted with this. And the thought of wanting to get out really just makes me feel unsure of the future. I want to make this other person understand. I really, truly do. I want them to understand the self destructive path they're on. I want to help them. And I want to take that journey towards something better with them.
But I just can't help it anymore. They just don't get it. They can't be reached.
There is a tight feeling in my stomach. A knot in my throat. I think it's fear. Or maybe it's just uncertainty. The anxiety that comes with stepping into the unknown.
But I think everybody knows that's just the feeling many of us get before we make any major life change, even the ones we know we have to make for our own sanity.
I know lots of you may say I'm looking for the easy way out. But that's easy to say for someone who doesn't have to live with the direct abuse every single day.
The simple fact is we just don't have a union anymore. And I can be stronger on my own.
Republicans, I want a divorce. I'll split everything 50/50, I just want out of this abuse. You have yours, and I'll take mine, and we'll end this bickering tonight.
We've grown too far apart, and you're holding me back from better things. From the life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness that it is my right to enjoy.